New Jersey Jokes

Thinking about opening up a sperm bank in New Jersey. Gonna call it: "Get a load of this guy over here!".

Score: 215

If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware? I dunno, Alaska.

Score: 147

If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey to wear at the fair, what will Delaware? I don't know but Alaska.

Score: 143

What's the difference between a Greyhound terminal in New Jersey and a voluptuous lobster? One's a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean

Score: 54

Why did New York get all the lawyers, and New Jersey all the toxic waste sites? New Jersey picked first.

Score: 46

Did you hear about this year's newest fad diet coming out of New York and New Jersey? The swim-fast diet.

Score: 36

New York has the most lawyers in the USA. New Jersey has the most toxic waste dumps in the USA. Why is this so? New Jersey had first choice.

Score: 34

Did you hear what sandy did to New Jersey? A few billion dollars worth of improvements

Score: 18

What's the difference between New Jersey girls and trash? Trash gets picked up.

Score: 14

If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey, what would Delaware? I don't know but Alaska

Score: 11

Why does California have more lawyers and New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps? New Jersey got to choose first

Score: 10

If Mississippi went to Missouri for a New Jersey what did Delaware ? Don't know, Alaska

Score: 9

In a progressive move, Mattel is making a new boyfriend for Barbie who's a homeless man from New Jersey Hobo Ken.

Score: 8

Imagin you are walking along the boardwalk in New Jersey when you see an anti-vaxxer and a flat-earther drowning in the ocean... do you grab dinner before you go to the movies or see the movie first?

Score: 8

What's the difference between a hockey team and a New Jersey hooker? A hockey team showers after 3 periods.

Score: 7

Can Mississippi wear Delaware's New Jersey? I don't know but Alaska.

Score: 7

Why are New Yorkers so skeptical about everything? Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey

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BREAKING: Helicopter crash in a New Jersey cemetery 300 dead bodies recovered so far

Score: 6

What clothes did Delaware? Maybe a New Jersey. You know what, Alaska

Score: 6

TIL The New Jersey Devils have never changed their logo or uniform design/colours. No new New Jersey jersey.

Score: 5

If Mississippi wore a New Jersey, what did Delaware? I dunno, Alaska.

Score: 3

I'm getting tired of riding to work from New Jersey to Manhattan with my neighbors I guess I'm getting Carpool Tunnel syndrome

Score: 3

Pennsylvania and New Jersey changed their state mottos today in order to cut their highway budgets. Now they both proudly display "Road Work Ahead. Expect Delays" on their welcome signs to better reflect the status of their roadways.

Score: 3

If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho... Alaska!

Score: 3

What do you call a male blonde model who lives on the streets of New Jersey? Hoboken

Score: 3

If Miss. Issippi, gave Miss. Ouri, her new jersey, what would Dela wear? I don't know, but AL ask.

Score: 3

Why does New York have all the lawyers while New Jersey got all the garbage dumps? New Jersey got to pick first

Score: 2

Why did Kobe Bryant go to New Jersey after he got arrested? Because he needed one.

Score: 2

How do you kill a vampire from New Jersey? With a New York steak.

Edit: I want to say this is OC because I thought of it myself but I feel like someone else may have also thought of it at some point in time.

Score: 2

Why should you never buy golf equiptment made in New Jersey? Because New Jersey drivers are terrible

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What are two things you don't pick up in New Jersey? The trash and the women.

Score: 2

A man in New Jersey testifies against the mob. To protect him, the FBI gives him a new identity in the last place the mob would look. What state does he live in now? A state of constant fear.

Score: 2

If Mississippi asked Missouri for her New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho either, but Alaska!

Score: 1

Why does New York have so many Lawyers and New Jersey have so many toxic waste dumps? New Jersey got first choice.

Score: 1

Why did New York get all the lawyers and New Jersey get all the landfills? New Jersey got to pick first.

Score: 1

What did Maryland yell out trying to find New Jersey Delaware are you

Score: 0

What did Maryland yell out trying to find New Jersey Delawhere are you

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