October Jokes

In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ... the entire story is the sub-plot.

Score: 511

Overheard in line for a movie... Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"

Teenage boy: "October 12th."

Employee: "What year?"

Boy: "Every year."

Score: 94
Funny October Jokes
Score: 88

How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

Score: 46

Totally sick of idiots letting fireworks off early, it’s still October for goodness sake!!! Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!

Score: 45

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:

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“Where were you on the night of October to April?”

Score: 40

What was Humpty Dumpty's favorite month? October... He had a great fall.

Score: 16

October 10th was such a great day 10/10

Score: 15

Is your birthday the 10th of October? Because you look like a 10/10!

Score: 13

What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out after October.

Score: 13

When it's October but there aren't any spooky jokes yet... Never seen such boo-sheet before.

Score: 11

TIL - as of 2019, Halloween has not fallen on Friday the 13th for the last 666 years This is probably because Halloween is October 31st

Score: 11

Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle. October through May, then June through September.

Score: 9

I can’t believe people are letting fireworks off in October! It’s scared the dog so badly he’s knocked the Christmas tree over.

Score: 9

It’s finally October, and you know what that means! Americans might actually start wearing masks.

Score: 9

Me: I have cheated once Wife: me too

Me: first april...

Wife: 8th october

Score: 7

What's the difference between a Yankee stadium hotdog and a Fenway park hotdog? You can buy a Yankee stadium hotdog in October

Score: 6

I found a ghost passed out on my stairs last night. He must have been really into the boos!

Happy October!

Score: 5

October is domestic abuse awareness month... Time to make your significant other aware....

Score: 5

I just re-watched The Hunt for Red October. The entire movie is the sub plot.

Score: 4

Thanks to the idiots who set off fireworks last night. It's only October! You scared my dogs so much that they knocked over my Christmas tree!

Score: 4

After a gruesome murder in Greenland the suspect is taken in for questioning by the police. Inspector: Would you mind telling us where you were on the night from October 11th to March 5th?

Score: 4

A German Dad Joke So, because St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow I asked my dad (who is German) if Germans have any day like St. Patrick's Day. His said, "Yes, it's called October."

Score: 3

I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be But I can trust my Vegas bookie and will be talking to him in October

Score: 3

Somebody needs to wake up Green Day It's October 1st

Score: 3

October tenth is a day that I rate... 10/10

Score: 3

October is finally here... Can somebody finally wake Billie joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded.

Score: 3

October is Eczema awareness month. So I'm raising money by selling scratch off lottery tickets.

Score: 3

I was doing a survey on hello and hi Every month I will tally if most people greet me with hello or hi.
most of the months, Hi won, but every October...


Hello win!

Score: 3

I guess October is Octover

Score: 3

Oh, Its October Guess we should wake up that guy from green day then

Score: 2

The tenth of October is the only day of the year that I would recommend 10/10

Score: 2

I always forget that holiday that comes at the end of October. Then the doorbell rings... Witch reminds me.

Score: 2

A soldier comes up and asks me what today's date is. I say "October fourth". He says 10-4

Score: 2

Its already October, so here's an update on all the fun and crazy things I've done so far 1. Work

Score: 1

The Hunt for Red October (1990) is an amazing movie. I especially liked the concept of the Nautilus' propulsion system. Whoops, wrong sub.

Score: 1

September: I had one of the worst hurricane months on record and Hugh Hefner died. October: Hold my beer

Score: 1

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