One Eye Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesaurus

Score: 130
Funny One Eye Jokes
Score: 99

Why do hunters close one eye when they aim? Because they can't see if they close both.

Score: 86

What do you call a kid with one arm, one leg and one eye? Names

Score: 65

What did one eye say to the other? Between you and I, something smells.

Score: 33

What do you call a kid with one eye and a pirate's leg? Names

Score: 33

Two blondes were walking in the park. One blonde says, "Aw! Look at that puppy with only one eye!" So the other blonde covers an eye with her hand and says, "Where?"

Score: 33

Why do snipers always close one eye when they aim? Because they can't aim if they close two.

Score: 31

What did one eye say to the other? What did one eye say to the other?
Between you and me something smells.

Score: 27

What do you call a kid with no legs and one eye? Names.

Score: 27

There was a one eyed teacher at my school He was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career

Score: 19

What did one eyeball say to the other? Between you and me, something smells.

Score: 18

"The police are looking for a man with one eye named Murphy." "What's the other eye called?"

Score: 15

What do you call a chef with one eye? Chief

Score: 13

What did the one eye say to the other? Between you and me, something smells.

Score: 13

What did one eye say to the other eye? Between you and me, something smells.

Credit: Christmas cracker.

Score: 11

How do government employees wink when they're at work? They briefly open one eye.

Score: 9

A Chinese man goes to an optometrist complaining of blurriness in one eye The optometrist examines him and says "You have a cataract."

To which the Chinese man replies "Noh, I drive Lincoln Coninenal."

Score: 8

What do you call a man with one eye, two noses, and three ears? Ugly

Score: 8

What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me there's something that smells.

Score: 7

Why'd the one eyed man marry the shallow girl? He lacked depth perception.

Score: 7

Who do Australians hunt with one eye? Because a bad eye can’t

But a good-eye-might

Score: 7

What do you call a one eyed Dinosaur? Doyouthinhesauras?

Score: 7

What did one eye say to the other eye? Between us, something smells.

Score: 7

An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg And says "Oi! You look 'armless! 'Op in!"

Score: 6

What do you call a dinosaur with one eye Doyouthinkhesawus.

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes

Dontthinkhesawus.

Score: 6

I have three and a half legs, four arms but only two hands, two noses but only one nostril and one eye. What am I? ugly

Score: 6

My grandfather told me he closed one eye whenever he saw a jew in the good old days... He was a sniper

Score: 5

Why do army snipers close one eye while shooting? Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see.

Score: 5

Why do Australians hunt with one eye Because a bad eye can't

But a good eye might

Score: 4

What do you call a deer with one eye? I have no eye deer

Score: 4

What’s a Heron with only one eye? Heroin.

Score: 4

What’cha call a dear with one eye? No idea

Score: 3

What do you call a kid with one leg, one eye, one arm, asthma and tons of acne? Names.

Score: 2

Why did the one eyed banker lose his job? He didn't have any debtperception.

Score: 2

What do you call a deer with only one eye? I have no eye-deer.

Score: 2

There is an old expression that goes like this, a hobo with one eye is good luck But a homeless man with three eyes is the winner.

Score: 1

Why do Australians hunt with one eye? Because a bad eye can’t

But a good-eye-might

Score: 1

What do Hasidic kids dress up as for Halloween? One eyed ghosts.

Score: 1

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