Proctologist Jokes

at the proctologist I was at the doctor, getting the digital rectal exam, and the doctor says: "At this point of the exam it is normal to get an erection". I said"I don't have an erection". The doctor says "No. But I do".

Score: 42

I went to a proctologist... And he said to me: you need to stop masturbing.


I said: why?


And then he responds: So I can examine you.

Score: 36

What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? Pokemon!

Score: 35

What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? The Pokémon.

Score: 22
Funny Proctologist Jokes
Score: 13

New Reality Show: America's Next Top Proctologist. You only advance to the next round if you get two thumbs up.

Score: 12

What did the proctologist say to the pirate? Show me your booty.

Score: 11

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"? Wouldn't it be more fitting if it was asteroids, I mean think about it instead of being a proctologist you would be a astronaut.

Score: 9

Three guys are talking, the first guy says "I'm an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn." And the second guy says, "Well, I am a pimp, so I drive a cheap Escort." And the third guy says, "I got you both beat. I'm a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe."

Score: 9

What do you call a Rastafarian proctologist? Pokemon!

Score: 8

What did the Jedi Knight say to the proctologist? "These aren't the 'roids you're looking for."

Score: 8

After I had my colonoscopy, the proctologist asked if I had any questions. Apparently "Do you do birthday parties?" was the wrong answer.

Score: 8

Went to the proctologist ... ended up with a ;

Score: 7

A man goes to the proctologist The doctor gave him a thumbs up.

Score: 7

What do you call a semi-professional proctologist? Someone doing a half-assed job.

Score: 7

What do a proctologist and a prostitute who's only clients are homeless people have in common? They both spend their time at work feeling up bums.

Score: 7

What do you get when a proctologist runs track? Rectal pro laps

Score: 6

What's the difference between a proctologist and a gynecologist? The smell of the finger.

Score: 6

I've never felt more like a dummy ... Than when I found out my proctologist is also a ventriloquist.

Score: 6

Three men are talking about cars. The first man says, “I’m an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn.”


The second man says, “Well, I’m a pimp, so I drive a cheap Escort.”


The third man says, “I have the both of you beat. I’m a proctologist, so I drive a brown probe.”

Score: 6

A proctologist walks into a bar... Before he sits down to order a drink, he examines the stool.

Score: 6

What do you call it when a proctologist has to give his sister an exam? Analysis

Score: 6

My grandpa claims that his was the first profession to go all digital. He’s a proctologist.

Score: 6

I have the best proctologist. He's able to massage my shoulders and check my prostate at the same time.

Score: 5

[Politics] Why can't Ben Carson help fix America's problems? He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist.

Score: 5

My proctologist gave me two thumbs up… Which I did NOT appreciate.

Score: 5

What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion? Two fingers.

Score: 4

People are always calling me a soft touch... As their proctologist, I take this as a compliment.

Score: 4

What does a proctologist and an astronomer have in common? When they look at Uranus, it is always on it's side.

Score: 4

Did you hear about that proctologist who became an English teacher? Did you hear about the proctologist who became and English teacher? He specializes in teaching analogies.

Score: 3

Where did the proctologist lose his passport? In Djibouti.

Score: 3

What did the Jedi proctologist say to his apprentice. "These are not the 'roids you're looking for"

Score: 3

Life is tiring being a child proctologist You're always feeling a little behind

Score: 3

I asked my Proctologist where I need to put my pants.... "Over there by mine" is not the answer I was expecting......

Score: 2

What do astrologist and proctologist have in common? They both study Uranus.

Score: 2

I don't care what the proctologist says, I'm beautiful on the inside as well.

Score: 2

Did you hear about the proctologist & psychiatrist who opened a practice together? They called it "Odds & Ends"

Score: 2

What did the proctologist say to the british shopoholic? Bend over, I want to see your ASOS

Score: 0

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