My friend's a scientist and accidentally chilled his lab rat to absolute zero... At first the rat was just frozen, but he's 0K now.
15 dollars for a rat trap, 3 dollars for cheese Coming home to find a house not full of droppings?. Miceless.
It’s my cake day so here’s a little cake joke for you all...
What do rat’s like to eat on their birthday?
Mice cream and cake
I’ll see myself out.
I work at a pharmaceutical research lab, and we managed to kill a rat with marijuana today. To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times.
Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner
Researchers have recently started using lawyers instead of rats in their lab experiments. You don’t get so attached to them, and there are some things a rat just won’t do.
I knew I was destined to be a psychologist not a magician... ...when I pulled a habit out of a rat.
I'm in a band called Arrogant Rat We're like Modest Mouse but way better
What do you call 6.022x10^23 rodents? A Mol Rat
Whenever my boss asks, "Having fun yet?"
I say, "Are you kidding, this is my Disneyland!"
because my boss is a rat, my co-workers are goofy and this is a Mickey Mouse operation.
What do you call a rat that has reached enlightenment? A Buddha-Pest
What do you call a rat with allergies?
Rat a-choo ouille.
(I'm sorry for ruining your day)
Why wouldn't the mouse tell the police where he hid the cheese? Because he's not a rat.
Where does a prostitute go to rat out her pimp? To a hoe-tell.
Baby rat and mommy rat were walking down a dirt road when a bat flies by
Baby rat turns to his mom and says:
-Look ma, an angel.
A rat along with two of his best buddies walk into a bar the bar had to be shut down due to health violations.
Me: [throwing another failed entree onto the floor] make it again!
**Stuart Little:** Please, I’m not who you think I am, my name is Stu--
**Me:** *[grabbing him by his tiny shirt]* make it again rat chef!
I saw a rat , so i found a bat and started hitting. My son was crying , I'm banned from chucky cheese's.
What do you get when you cross a Rat and a Mountain Climber?
Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar.
EDIT: changed multiply to cross.
What do you call a fat rat? enormouse
What is the difference between rat poison and diet coke? Diet coke has better advertising.
A little girl runs to her mum
"Mummy, I just saw a rat as big as an elephant!".
Her mum starts shouting angrily at her: "I told you one hundred thousands billions times not to exaggerate things!"
What do you call a Rat living in subway? Underrated.
Have you heard about the movement to replace lab rats with lawyers? The researchers don't get so attached and there are *some* things a rat just won't do.
When I opened my oven door a big rat ran out. I tried to shoot him but he was out of my range.
Not many people know that B.F. Skinner, the famous behavioral psychologist, had a second career as a stage magician. His big trick was pulling a habit out of a rat.
Why didn't the rat go to college? It gotten eaten by the bear...and bears don't go to college.
What's the difference between a flying mammal in sunglasses and a mouse in disguise? One's a rad bat, the other's a bad rat
Crow joins two other feasting on a dead rat... says - a murder, eh?!
I can't believe exterminators get money from killing rats. I killed a rat once and got a lifetime ban from Chuck-E-Cheese's.
What is a fitting name for a rat exterminator? "Eraticator"
Can't believe my pet rat, Elvis, has died He was caught in a trap
What do people say when you mix rat, pig and human DNA?
Hello congressman.
Not stolen!
What do you call a sea fairing rodent that likes pastries? A pie rat
Who is a rodent's favorite musician? Rat King Cole
Trump supporters outta know by now that they are never going to get a wall... but they may get a magic Stone that turns into a Rat.