What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?
Abominable!
(say it out loud, slowly)
What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye Matey!
(Edit: Say it out loud if you don't get it)
I won a math debate. Say it out loud. ^
Question: what's Erdogan's favorite puzzle game? Answer: pseudo-coup (say it out loud)
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Smell mop!
Smell mop who? (Say it out loud to get the joke)
Knock knock
Who's there?
I eat mop
I eat mop who?
( say it out loud )
What's the plural of compass?
This one's best if you say it out loud.
What's the plural of octopus?
Octopi.
What's the plural of compass?
Cumpie.
My favorite knock knock joke
Knock Knock
Who's there
I eat mop
I eat mop who.
Say it out loud.
Why is it so hard to keep track of counting in Afghanistan?
Because of the Taliban
(say it out loud)
What vehicle do you pick up the most chicks in?
A tractor
(Maybe you'll have to say it out loud)
What do you call Australian hay? Hi. (Say it out loud)
Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown?
He was looking for Finger Prince.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it.)
If you met an eel in a top hat...
...that would be Sir Eel.
(say it out loud)
Condescending A midget convict was escaping out of a window, and as he lowered himself down I was walking past, and we made eye contact and he sneered at me and I thought "that's a little condescending". (Say it out loud)
How do Mexicans cut pizza? Little Caesars (say it out loud)
What kind of Bees make milk?
Boo-bees (say it out loud =D)
NOTE: Not original. My uncle heard it on the radio, told it to me, and I shared it with you guys.
A Spanish Magician says he will disappear on the count of three
He said
Uno
Dos
Then he disappeared with no tres
(say it out loud to understand)
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea!
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea!
Hint: say it out loud
What do you call a Female to Male operation? An Addadictomy. (say it out loud)
What do you get when you combine . . .
50 female pigs and 50 male deer?
.
.
.
.
.
A hundred sows and bucks!
(Say it out loud)
What are Super Mario overalls made of? Denim denim denim (say it out loud)
My wife left me because i'm uncertain
I think
.
.
.
.
.
Not really sure now that i say it out loud
What TV personality lives in your phone? SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)
Question: What did the Cabbage say to the cab driver when he passed his stop?
Answer:
"STOP THE CAB-BAGE"
Ps - The joke is to say it out loud and figure out what you are actually saying.
[OC] What do you tell a preacher when they invite you over for spaghetti dinner?
"Pasta pasta, pasta." :)
EDIT: Say it out loud.
What did the trumpeter do when he was constipated?
He rooted-it-oot.
(Works best to say it out loud)
Who are the littlest pirates? *Say it out loud:* **Somali Pirates**
What do you call a monk who got rid of his habit to start a bed and breakfast?
Ex Benedict.
(You may have to say it out loud)
What kind of light does an Australian use to shave?
Rise Up Lights
(Say it out loud)