Public speaking is the #1 fear of the average person. #2 is death.
This means that at a funeral, more people would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
-Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld at a Poker game: “What’s the deal?”
What do you call a sitcom that takes place in a war zone?
Minefeld
*Plays Seinfeld theme with gunshots*
What type of roller coaster goes through the Bronx?
The type where people scream in the flat parts.
-Jerry Seinfeld
What do you call part of a poem written by a Seinfeld character? A George Costanza.
I went to a Jerry Seinfeld stand-up last night. It was actually really disappointing; he didn't use any of his old jokes I used to love... Like, what's up with that?
Starting in 2020, whenever a famous comedian dies Jerry Seinfeld is going to go to their funeral and pretend to interview them on the way to the cemetery for his new TV show... *Comedians* *in Coffins Being Carried*
Kwanzaa and Festivus were both made up in 1966.
One is a joke holiday that no one should take seriously. The other was featured on Seinfeld.
hat tip to u/AudibleNod
The set-up is that this is a Jewish joke:
Two gentiles meet on the street.
One says, "How's business?"
The other says, "Great!"
[Told by Jerry Seinfeld on "Norm MacDonald Live"]
Two cannibals were eating Jerry Seinfeld... One looks at the other and asks “Does this taste salty?”
I was in a writing room with Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld But nothing happened
How does Jerry Seinfeld play ice hockey? With his Shtick.
Curse of Oak Island The show "Curse of Oak Island" takes Jerry Seinfeld's concept of a show about nothing to a hole new level.
Did you hear Jerry Seinfeld is hosting a new poker show Its gonna be called "What's the Deal?"