Squid Jokes

Funny Squid Jokes
Score: 33

What did Poseidon say to the giant squid? What’s Kraken?

Score: 30

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten tickles.

Score: 24

How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet? Squid marks.

Score: 20

Why wasn't the giant squid terrorising ships last night? He was too busy Kraken open a cold one with the buoys!

Score: 19

What did one giant squid say to the other giant squid? What's Kraken!

Score: 14

A restaurant owner offered me a free calamari appetizer if I gave him a good review on Yelp It was squid pro quo.

Score: 13

What do you call a group of squid? A squad

Score: 8

What do you call a Jamaican squid? Calamarley

Score: 8

What's it take to make a squid laugh? Ten tickles

Score: 8

How many tickles does it takes to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.

Score: 7

How many times do you have to tickle a squid to make it laugh? ten tickles

Score: 7

What do you call it when a cephalopod returns a favor? Squid pro quo.

Score: 6

How many tickles... How many tickles before a squid starts to laugh?


Ten tickles

Score: 5

How does a squid couple take the next step in their relationship? They get calimarried

Score: 5

A lion and a tiger make a liger, a whale and dolphin a wolphin, a squid and octopus a scquoctopus. What would a five-year old and a horse be? Definitely illegal.

Score: 5

I just heard a really good joke about a giant squid It's Kraken me up

Score: 5

What did the giant squid say to the other giant squid? What's kraken bro

Score: 5

What do you call a Jamaican squid? Cala Marley.

~~credit to whoever it was at Nintendo who originally came up with this pun for a Splatoon musician's name~~

Score: 4

What do you call a squid taco? hentai

Score: 3

His many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? ............ Ten Tickles........

Score: 3

What do you call it when people exchange sea creatures? Squid pro quo.

Score: 3

What do you call a group of cephalopods trying to kill themselves? Suicide Squid

Score: 3

I was at a restaurant that serves traditional Spanish food. I was shocked to see that they serve clamari, and with the squid's ink! No one expects the Spanish ink cuisine!

Score: 3

What do you call it when a fisherman gives a cephalopod in exchange for information on his rival fishermen? A Squid-Pro-Quo

Score: 3

What does a squid say when it’s in a hurry? Lets get Kraken

Score: 3

If Squidward got a job at a prison for squids, Would he be known as Squid Warden Squirdward?

Score: 3

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN SQUID GETS AN INFECTED CUT? octoPUS

Score: 3

What did the man say to the giant squid? What's kraken?

JAJAJAJAJJAJJAJA

Score: 2

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh ? ten-tickcles.

Score: 2

I want to see if this R'lyehian joke makes sense to humans “Waiter! Waiter! There’s mglw'nafh squid ph'nglui ya soup!”

“It’s nafl mglw'nafh, sir. It’s ahehyee fhtagn. ”

Score: 0

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