A soldier finds a scorpion in his tent...
In the Marines, he kills the scorpion.
In the Army, he calls his CO and reports the presence of the scorpion.
In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there's a tent in his room.
I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. ...Or maybe she said "a tent of lovers." I wasn't really listening...
If you're a criminal and you go camping with EA, don't forget to bring something to sleep in... ... or they'll make you pay for the extra con tent
I lost 25% of my tent. But it's okay, now I have ten.
Two Squirrels GO Camping
They set up a tiny tent and make a tiny campfire. Then, one squirrel pulls out a frying pan and begins to pan fry some twigs. The other squirrel snatches it from his hand and says,
"Are you NUTS?!? This is a non-stick pan!"
What is a mushroom in a tent? A Campingon.
What does Hitler call the area around his tent? Mein Kampf
I was trying to get storm insurance for my campsite, but the company refused. They said, “If your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”
I went camping in the snow. As the snow melted, water leaked in. It was the winter of my discount tent.
What was the poltergeist arrested for at the campground? Possession within tent
Insurance companies are warning Campers if you get your tent stolen in the middle of the night, you won't be covered.
I asked my wife what women really want and she said "attentive lovers"... ...actually she might have said "A tent of lovers", I don't really listen to her needs and opinions.
I was told if I got robbed when I was camping, it would invalidate my insurance... They said if my tent gets stolen, I'll no longer be covered.
3 guys in camping in one tent The guy on the left dreamed a beautiful blond was giving him a handjob. The guy on the right dreamed a georgous redhead was giving him a handjob. The guy in the middle dreamt he was skiing.
I took a poll recently and 100% of people were annoyed with their tent falling down.
the big universe
two friends Jake & bill laying in the tent camping
bill: Jake what are you looking at
Jake: the stars
bill: and what you get from that
Jake: how big the universe is and how small we are
bill: no the fu\*\*ing tent is gone you moron
I got arrested one night while camping... The policeman said I was loitering within tent.
I heard they're letting girls join the boy scouts now. They're going to help the boys pitch a tent.
You can never run through a campground you can only ran through one. Because it past tent’s.
Doc...I had a dream two nights ago I was a pop up tent and last light I dreamt I was an Inflatable Tent. What does it mean???? Well Bob I would say you are too tents.
Why did the tent company get no investors? It was tough to pitch.
Winner of the National Championship for Poems - Category: "Timbuktu"
Tim and I off hunting went.
Found three girls in a pop up tent.
They were three and we were two.
So I bucked one and,
Tim bucked two.
I was trying to buy some storm insurance for my camp site, but was refused. They said, “If your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”
Attila's wife enters their tent "im home hun"
My friend likes to setup a poker table in his tent when we go camping. The game gets intense.
I went to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the company refused. They said, “If your tent gets blown off, you won’t be covered.”
I think I’ll self- isolate in a tent.. And change my name to Tentin Quarantino.
A priest, an atheist, and a rabbit walk into a blood donor tent The rabbit says "I might be a type O"
Me and Tim a hunting went... ...Met three whores in a pop-up tent. They was three and we was two, so I buck one and Timbuktu.
Why did the cops arrest the guy selling water at a music festival? They said he was in tent to supply.
Be careful when camping in the woods Whenever the police find a body it's always in a tent
A tall man taught me how to lay tents. Although he left before I got to show him what I learnt, It was still lay tent learning.
A Scoutmaster was banned from the Boy Scouts of America... When asked what was the reason for him getting banned, all he said was that he was teaching the scouts how to "pitch a tent".
I have really bad morning wood Every night I go to sleep under my blanket, but wake up under a tent.
A short story A woman went camping in the forest and was sitting outside her tent when the sun set. She stayed up all night trying to figure out where it went, then it dawned on her.
I used to have a job at the circus when i was younger !
They kept me on for like 3 years..
I couldn't do any tricks or anything ...
But i was the only one who could get the tent back in the bag!