Guess what came in the mail today I did, I ran out of tissue.
What do you call a tissue that is sleeping? A napkin
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? A slow swimmer.
A friend of mine lost 200 pounds of excess fat and obsolete tissue in a matter of months. Better still, he felt great about the divorce.
I thought I broke my ankle when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
Noses and Boyfriends
Boyfriends are like noses...
People get disgusted when you blow them in public.
Especially if you're caught without a tissue
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogy in it!
My 8 year old niece told me I could share her joke with you guys, but I had to give her the credit. Her name is Brooklyn.
Do you know how to make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
How do you make a tissue sail the seven seas? Put some seamen in it
I fell over a toilet roll display at my local supermarket I cut my leg badly and was rushed to hospital. I said to the doctor, "what's the damage" He replied, "just some torn tissue".
A man who sneezes without a tissue Takes matter into his own hands
How do you get a tissue to dance? You put a little boogie in it.
My wife always wanted a nose job. So she became a tissue designer.
What do you call soft tissue between a shark's teeth? A slow swimmer.
He: Can I try your bra on? She: Sure, go ahead, I have no tissue with that.
How do you make a tissue dance? By putting a little boogie in it!
I got kicked out of a massage parlor the other day. Apparently the prostate isn't considered "deep tissue."
What does Hannibal Lector use to blow his nose? A tissue.
I was walking through a supermarket when a tower of toilet paper fell on me I'm worried I have soft tissue damage.
Why couldn't the surgeon 3D print a new pair of lungs?
He ran out of tissue paper.
Edit: Thank you so much for the gold. You have quite possibly made my dreams come true! Never thought something I came up with at 5:00 A.M. would make it happen.
You know how to make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
How do u make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
EDIT: Didn't know it was a repost, was told by my uncle who said an old guy told him. Sorry about that
How do you make a tissue dance? You blow a little boogie in it.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie into it
I saw a dead baby gohst laying on the ground this morning. Turns out it was just a tissue.
I was walking behind a girl late at night
I open silently the bottle of chloroform so she doesn't freak out.
I put out my tissue,
put chloroform on it,
*sneezing*
clean my nose,
and pass out
I'm not a smart man
In the stock market today.... Northern Tissue touched a new bottom, and millions of investors were wiped clean.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
(My 6 year olds favorite joke)
Good news! I read that people aren't hoarding toilet paper anymore, Guess we wiped out that tissue, I mean, issue.
Why did the tissue go across the room? It had a little boogie in it.
Which member of the Justice League has loose connective tissue? The Marfan Manhunter!
A beautiful girl who was staying in the hotel, puts her finger on hotel manager's lips
Manager smiles, kisses each finger one by one..
Girl: U liked it ?
Manager: Oh yeah !!
Girl: Now go and tell your boss that there is no tissue in the toilet !!
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? The slow swimmer.
How do you make a tissue dance ? You put a little boogie on it