I went to a dance.
First they played 'Jump', so I jumped.
Then they played 'The Twist', so I twisted.
Then they played 'Come On Eileen', so I got kicked out.
Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years. His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees. Apparently she stood him up.
I went to a dance.
First they played 'Jump', and I jumped.
Then they played 'The Twist', and I twisted.
Then they played 'Come On Eileen', and I got kicked out.
Most people think I'm sick and twisted...
But I'm not! I have the heart of a little girl.
In a jar.
On my desk.
Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange... I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.
I went to a dance club last night...
They played "The Twist, " so I twisted.
Then they played "Jump, " so I jumped.
Then they played "Come on Eileen, "
....and I got thrown out. :-(
Stephen Hawking has his first date in a long time...
When he returned from the date, he had a twisted ankle, a broken wrist, his glasses were cracked and there was dirt all over his clothes.
Apparently she stood him up.
I wouldn't believe anybody with scoliosis if I were you. They're twisted people.
Went to our annual work party last night... They played 'The Twist' so I twisted. They played 'Jump' so I jumped. Then they played 'Come on Eileen'...I was asked to leave shortly after that.
I was at an office party last night. They played the Twist and I twisted, they played Jump Around and I jumped around. Unfortunately, I was asked to leave when they played Come on Eileen
Stephen Hawking had his first date for 10 years last week. He came back, his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees... Apparently she stood him up!
Challenge
Only a Genius can say these four words, Four times Really fast without getting Tongue twisted.
Eye , Yum , Stew , Peed
Stephen Hawkins goes on a date....
he comes back a couple of hours later with broken glasses, grazed knees, twisted ankle.
She'd stood him up.
Ask /r/jokes: What are your favorite twisted nursery rhymes?
Little Miss Muffet sat down on a tuffet
Holding her can of RAID
Along came a spider who sat down beside her
So she blew the little sucker away.
I was just on Trip Advisor and it was a complete waste of time! There's absolutely *no* information about twisted ankles or skinned knees!
Stephen Hawking had his first date for 10 years last week
He came back, his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees; apparently she stood him up!
-Jim Sealey
I was at a bar once, and the band played "Jump"
.. and everyone jumped. Then the band played "Twist and Shout" and everyone twisted and shouted.
Then the band played "Come on Eileen". Poor Eileen!
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies They are always so twisted.
You know, the most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies... Theyre always so twisted
A really twisted joke
What do Ted Bundy and the Space Shuttle Colombia have in common?
They both left bodies in four states.
I was at a job interview with the least imaginative panel. I mean in what twisted world does being abducted by aliens not count as an experience!?
Back in the 1980s, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and hurt my knee. I'm telling you this now because there was no social media back then
I entered a Twisted Sister lookalike contest and came in last place I won a rock
Wanna know why Alabama is so weird and twisted? Because it's in their incestors blood.
What do you call a nun stuck in a tornado? Twisted Sister.
My friend told me he's into really twisted women so I took him to a Möbius strip club for his birthday
I was at a nightclub
They played just dance I just danced
They played twist I twisted
They played jump I jumped
They played come on Eileen, I was kicked out of the club
I like my women like i like my theoretical physicists Sick and twisted
What is George W. Bush’s favorite song? Twisted Sister - “I Want Iraq”
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common? Both are sick and twisted.