Veg Jokes

Got in trouble with the wife at dinner time last night. Apparently when she asked me to turn on the veg, fingering her disabled sister isn't what she meant.

Score: 19
Funny Veg Jokes
Score: 12

Talking to a vegan today I was talking to a vegan today and they said : "I think butchers or anyone who sells meat is disgusting ! " to which I replied "well I think people who sell fruit and veg are grocer"

Score: 6

Some people say onions are the only veg that make you cry They've never been hit in the face by a turnip

Score: 6

I've just turned down a job delivering for my local fruit and veg shop. They offered to pay me in vegetables, but the celery was unacceptable.

Score: 6

A vegan told me people who sold meat were disgusting. I said people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.

Score: 5

A man was convicted for murdering and eating his victims, which consisted of homosexuals and disabled people When asked why he did this, he responded that he just wanted to get his 5 fruit and veg a day

Score: 4

Titles are hard *context* I work in a fruit and veg shop. I told this joke to all of the people doing fruit. I think I need a new job

What's the opposite of a mandarin?

A mandarout

Score: 3

A man came back from the fruit and veg shop without buying anything. The trip was fruitless.

edit: wording

Score: 2

Deep After stewing in his emotions, emo veg comes to the conclusion that the root of the world's problems is that people don't seem to carrot all.

Score: 1

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