Making love to a woman is like playing a violin… I don't know how to do it…
Today I popped a G string while fingering a minor. I'm going to the violin repair shop tomorrow.
practicing with the violin
A little boy goes to his weekly violin lesson, but when he opens the violin case he blurts out a curse, and slams the case shut again.
"What's wrong?" asks the teacher.
"It seems my father is going to rob the bank with my violin"
Why is it dangerous to have more than one violin in your house?
Because it leads to domestic violins.
(From my 9 year old...)
How did the violinist learn to play violin? He just started fiddling with it.
Making love to a woman is a lot like playing the violin. I guess, i don't know how to do either
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying It's must be too highly strung
my pre school guitar teacher... got in trouble for fingering A minor, but he wasn't as bad as bad as my pre school violin teacher...he fiddled with kids... but both were not nearly as bad as my pre school piano teacher....who raped me in the mouth
What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin? The amount of alcohol involved.
Violence is never the answer! Unless the question is... What do you have if you more than one violin?
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly? Viola.
A girl asked if I play any Indian instruments. I told her I play mandolin, violin and cello. Close, but no sitar.
Saw my violin teacher on the 9 o’clock news He was fiddling with the kids
What’s the difference between a fiddle and a violin? About $10,000.
Whats the difference between a violin and a fiddle? You can't violin with yourself.
Making love to a woman is like playing the violin. You're not doing it right unless your jaw hurts.
Making love to a woman is like playing the violin... If you break the G-string, you're probably fingering too hard.
Why couldn't Handel buy a new violin? Because he was Baroque.
There was a brawl at the orchestra today. Lots of violin-ce
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin? It had excellent mussel memory.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has strings.
A fiddle has straaangs.
What's an emo's favorite musical instrument? The forearm violin.
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will. When I took them to be valued I was told they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius Sadly, they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
The Violin Ensemble playing in Carnegie Hall somehow got an R-18 rating... The censors say it contains explicit scenes of violins encore.
How do you keep a violin from getting stolen? Put it in a viola case.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin Now he is quite Baroque.
I went to the music shop to buy a violin, the assistant said "Do you want a bow as well?".. I said "Don't bother wrapping it"...
What’s the difference between a fiddle and a violin? The number of teeth the person playing it has.
What's better than a violin on your bed? A fiddle between the sheets
Making love to a woman is like a Ram playing a violin... He may not be very good at it, but it's still better than ewe
Making love to a woman is like playing a violin. I don't know how to do it.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying But I later learnt it's my neighbour.
‘Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?’
‘Yes, of course…’
‘Great! I never could before!’
With me, making love is like a Beethoven violin sonata Two quick movements with a bit of fiddling in the middle.
What did the violin say to the music box? Congratulations, you played yourself.
What did the violin say to the other violin? Chello!!!