Weight Loss Jokes

The UK Government has decided to make LSD legal as a drug for weight loss It makes sense if you think about it. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it...

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Funny Weight Loss Jokes
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Local mom finds cure to weight loss, Scientist are dumbfounded... at how gullible people on the internet are.

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Did you know that LSD is a really effective weight loss drug? How are you supposed to eat if there’s a dragon guarding the fridge?

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Just bought a new phone, it's helping me with weight loss I don't have money to eat anything for 2 months.

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My sister is fat so they sent her to a weight loss camp.... I have ADHD, so they're sending me to a concentration camp

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A man invested in a weight loss diet from Britain He lost 10,000 pounds! But it didn't work

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My wife and I started dieting together and we have a combined weight loss of 60 Lbs! My wife is down 80 Lbs.

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Jared Fogel's weight loss secret finally revealed! He's been eating the kids meal all this time

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My parents congratulated me on my 215lb weight loss... I don't think they liked my ex-boyfriend.

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New name for weight loss pills Pills of mass destruction!

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Easy weight loss technique: Step 1: Initiate Brexit.

Step 2: Lose 440 million pounds a week.

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My weight loss secret? I stopped drinking. Butter.

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When you spend 3 hours in line at Jenny Craig to see a weight loss consultant . . . You over wait.

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Socialism is good for only one thing. Weight loss.

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Japan worked well for my weight loss. Can't even pick up my food.

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My sister finished her rigorous weight loss plan and lost an incredible 10lbs in one day! She had a baby

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QUICK WEIGHT LOSS I've got a wedding I've got to go to next week, and I was trying to lose six pounds by the weekend. I don't think I'm going to do it, so I'm going to get my back waxed, and then, I'll only have to lose two.

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Smoking promotes weight loss ..eventually

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Joaquin Phoenix won an award for weight loss transformation into Arthur Fleck in "Joker". Atrophy.

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Hear about the coma induced weight loss program prescribed by doctors? They call it a *die*t.

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DJ Khaled invented a weight loss app Everytime you lose a pound, his voice comes on and says "Another one".

Edit: credit goes to guy I heard on the radio say it.

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I recently met an old friend. He noticed my tan and and weight loss and asked: "where and how did you loose all that extra pounds?" I ran.

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Weight loss My skinny friend keeps trying to lose weight. I keep telling him he's making progress, you can barely see his love ribs anymore.

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Weight loss pills stolen this morning - police say suspects are still at large.

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What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you? You'll lost 30£ for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

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"With our special weight loss supplements and a healthy diet, you can lose over 30 pounds a month!" Fat chance...

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What slogan do both a brothel and a weight loss clinic have in common? Come drop your load.

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LPT: when a fat friend asks for weight loss advice, tell the truth no matter how hard it might seem. Don’t sugarcoat your words. They will just eat it if you do.

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It’s a really good idea to set weight loss goals. I’m hoping to lose 220 pounds of ugly orange fat by November of 2020.

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I tried to set up a weight loss group... ...but apparently calling it “The Fat Losers Club” isn’t acceptable.

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