40 Year Old Jokes

Funny 40 Year Old Jokes
Score: 11634

A 40 year old man asked the Trainer in the Gym, 'I want to Impress Beautiful Girls, which Machine should I use?' The Trainer replied, 'Outside the Gym, there is an ATM. Try that'

Score: 2749

Why does everyone assume that just because I’m a 40 year old loser that I live in my parent’s basement? My parents don’t have a basement. I live in my bedroom like a big boy.

Score: 916

What's the difference between a 4 year girl and a 40 year old woman? A 4 year old's favourite toy is a rubber body without any genitals. A 40 year old's favourite toy is a rubber genital without any body.

Score: 75

As a fat, single, 40 year old man, I've been to alot of strip clubs. Too bad I haven't made much money.

Score: 31

Being a 40 year old man, people started scolding me when I took out my 18 year old girlfriend for dinner I got called all sorts: creep, perv etc. I have to say, it really ruined our 10th anniversary together

Score: 21

What's the difference between a 4 year girl and a 40 year old woman? A 4 year old's favorite toy is a rubber body without any genitals. A 40 year old's favorite toy is a rubber genital without any body.

Score: 10

What did the 40 year old pregnant lady say when her husband asked her "why are you so upset" "I'm having a midwife crisis"

Score: 8

The 40 year old health care worker who cares for newborns started questioning her career choices, then flipped out and left town I guess she was having a midwife crisis

Score: 8

What does a 40 year old man and a 1.5 year old anti-vaccine child have in common? They are both going through a mid-life crisis.

Score: 3

How do 40 year old virgins type their spreadsheets? Incels.

Score: 3

A son tells his dad, "Dad! There's a mockingbird on the roof."
"How do you know it's a mockingbird?" The Dad asks.
The son responds, "Because it said 'Look at me I'm a dumb 40 year old living in my parents basement'"

Score: 3

Come this Tuesday I will no longer be a 40 year old virgin. I will be a 41 year old virgin...

Score: 2

The ugly 40 year old florist next door is quitting her job She wants to be deflowered

Score: 2

I'm a 40 year old with a body of a 20 year old. Any tips on how to bury him ?

Score: 2

A 40 year old man goes to buy a car.... and all he can afford is a base model civic.

Score: 1

Why did the 40 year old virgin cross the road? To choke the chicken

Score: 1

I'm a 40 year old in a 20 year old's body Don't tell my wife.

Score: 1

Oldie but goodie.... Did you hear McDonald’s is coming out with a Michael Jackson tribute cheeseburger? It’s 40 year old meat between 8 year old buns.

Score: 1

What do Catholic Priests and McDonalds have in common? 40 year old meat between 8 year old buns.

Score: 0

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