A 5th grader from Alabama and a 5th grader from Boston got into a fight, who won? 5th grader from Alabama, because he's 18 yrs old
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in 5th grade. Which one is hotter? The blonde..because she’s 18.
If you snort coke, you get high. If you snort flour...
..you get baked.
...frighteningly, my 5th grader came up with this while we were having a discussion about drugs and what he might end up seeing in Middle School next year.
Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging
The word was Dictate.
[Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
[Mike Tyson] She liked the way my Dictate
What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?
I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course)
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
... A FSHHH
"Did you hear about that actress who killed her self?"
"Did you hear about that actress who killed herself? Her name was Reese something-or-other... I don't remember."
"Witherspoon?"
"No, no... with her knife."
--
A joke my 5th grade teacher told me years ago
What are the toughest 4 years of a football player's life? 5th grade
What's a dinosaur's favorite book? Thesaurus. (I made this in 5th grade)
Two 5th graders got into a fight.
One was from Alabama and one was a transfer student from NY. Who won?
The 5th grader from Alabama, because he is 18 years old.
Hot teachers
Me: Man, I had some hot teachers growing up.
My friend: Ya, me too!
Me: My 5th grade teacher was banging! How about you
My friend: When I look back, my 1st grade teacher was really hot
Me: Wait, werern't you home schooled in first grade?
My friend: . . .
A joke I thought of back in the 5th grade.
Why did the robber go !POP!... Because he was busted.
EDIT: a little corney, but hey who gives a flying fuckaroo.
I farted in a sandwich bag with an Oreo at the bottom, sealed it, and gave it to a girl who had been really mean to me when I was in 5th grade. I can't believe I tracked her down after 30+ years.