Android Jokes

Why do thieves prefer to steal Android phones over iPhones? Because they like to Hangout and not FaceTime.

Score: 230

Eve gets an apple Eve: I got an Apple.

Adam: ...

Eve: ...

Adam: ...

Eve: What?

Adam: I thought we'd decided on Android.

Eve: The serpent said this was better.

Score: 131
Funny Android Jokes
Score: 47

Why doesn't Captain Picard have an iPhone He already has an android, and it came with a data plan.

Score: 46

Why does ACDC prefer Android to Apple? She's Got The Jack

Score: 11

Apple is always 4 years behind Android phones... ... so I guess 2020 will be explosive!

Score: 10

iPhone users, don’t bother sending the “Meteor” emoji to your Android friends... ...It won’t have the same impact.

Score: 10

What do you call a Russian android with poor coverage? Data Roaminoff.

Score: 9

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel? I am Root.

Score: 7

A recent survey says women prefer 4-5 inches over 6 inches and bigger, citing a "better fit" being one of the top reasons While preference between Android and iOS devices are evenly split.

Score: 7

How do you trigger an Android fanboy? Sent from my iPhone

Score: 6

Android lets you use "Lumos" for the flashlight, "Silencio" for the notifications... but not "Incendio". That is a Samsung exclusive.

Score: 6

Why does Snow White own an Android? Because she hates Apples.

Score: 6

The news about Android banning Huawei is sad. But I know Huawei can fix this. If there’s a will, there’s Huawei.

Score: 6

The "Lumos/Nox" trick on Android phones is pretty neat. However... I'd advise the Galaxy Note 7 crowd to avoid "Avada Kedavra."

Score: 5

My phone started to act weird when I researched buying a new phone. It became a Paranoid Android.

Score: 5

What do you call someone who always talks about apple products? An android user.

Score: 5

Things that didn't exist the last time England were in the semis iPhone

Facebook

Google

Amazon

Android

Twitter

Instagram

iPod

Yahoo

YouTube

Snapchat

Spotify

Tesla

Skype

Uber

Airbnb

Bitcoin

Fitbit

Emojis

iPad

and
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.

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Croatia

Score: 5

Why do all doctors use Android phones? Because they're scared of Apples

Score: 5

What do you call an Android with perfect grammar? A droid.

Score: 4

Android group chats be like Laughed at “Android group chats be like”

Score: 4

Hey Android guys ! Wanna hear a joke about privacy ? You won’t get it.

Score: 4

Step 1: Have Android phone - Step 2: Say "Ok Google, what are people from Phoenix called?" You're welcome

Score: 3

An android inexplicably shut down in the middle of a bar fight. She was later arrested and charged with battery.

Score: 3

Tim Cook officially came out of the closet... at least this is the one time when Android users can't claim that theirs came out first.

Score: 2

What's an Android developer's favourite cereal? Boot Loops

Score: 2

Why did Snow White buy an android phone? She thought the apple was poisoned.

Score: 2

A lot of parents don't know that there is another way to entertain children rather than by giving them an iPad. By giving them an Android tablet!

Score: 2

What's the best screen grabber for Windows 10? An Android phone.

Score: 2

Two friends are sitting on the bus, discussing smartwatches... The android user says to the iPhone user, “Samsung make the best android watches”.

And the iPhone user replies, “Apple make the best Apple watches.”

Score: 2

What do you call a cross dressed robot? Android-gynous

Score: 1

What's Robert Kraft's favorite android app? WhoreDash

Score: 1

Why do Australian nymphomaniacs prefer Android? They really like rooting.

Score: 1

What should Tony Stark use to update his android friend, who is worthy enough to pick up Mjolnir? Vitamin A, because it improves Vision.

Score: 1

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