Angel Jokes

Funny Angel Jokes
Score: 909

Two married man talking.. 1st man: Im so lucky, my wife is an angel.

2nd man: Good for you! Mine's still alive.

Score: 270

A guy is having a beer with his wife says: You are my dream, my angel, my love. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you.
The wife says 'is that you talking or is it the beer'?
Husband says: It's me talking to the beer.

Score: 128

Two married men are talking: - My mother-in-law is an angel - You're lucky, mine's still alive.

Score: 75

Two men were talking about their wives The first guy says “My wife is an angel!”



The other says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

Score: 63

My wife is an angel. Bob and Harry are fishing one day....

Bob.... "How's your wife been?"

Harry...."She's an angel, how about yours?"

Bob...."Egh, mine is still alive."

Score: 54

The angel of death appears before a lawyer and says "Your time has come". The lawyer starts crying and wailing "But I'm only forty" Angel of death says "Not according to your billable hours"

Score: 54

Two men were talking about their wives The first man says "My wife is an angel." The second man says "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Score: 51

Today I told my wife our daughter is a little angel. It was much easier than telling her that she's dead.

Score: 41

First guy, proudly: "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "Lucky you, mine's still alive!"

Score: 31

Why did the Italian get kicked out of heaven? He ate too much angel hair

Score: 26

If an angel statue is removed from a fountain... ...would that make it a sans seraph font?

Score: 20

Angel. Jeff is talking to Ben :

• My wife is an angel.

Ben tells him :

• Lucky you, mine is still alive...

Score: 19

Two men were talking about their wives The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

Score: 17

What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman? To one you say, "Hey you, get off my cloud!"
The other: "Hey McLoed, get off my ewe!"

Score: 14

What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman? An angel will say, "Hey you, get off of my cloud!" and a Scotsman will say, "Hey Macleod, get off of my ewe!"

Score: 14

What does an angel use to light his cigarette? [A match made in heaven](/spoiler)

What kind of cigarettes does he have?

[Holy Smokes](/spoiler)

Score: 11

My wife is an angel. All my friends are jealous because their wives are still alive.

Score: 10

Lucifer, chased by an angel, hid himself in the London Philharmonic Orchestra He was eventually found in the horns section.

Score: 8

Two guys are talking in a bar... About their wives. The first man proudly tells the other '"My wife's an angel!" to which the other man replies, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Score: 8

Baby rat and mommy rat were walking down a dirt road when a bat flies by Baby rat turns to his mom and says:

-Look ma, an angel.

Score: 8

What do you call a fountain whose angel statue has been stolen? A sans seraph font.

Score: 7

Melania Trump walks into a bar... and orders and Angel shot with lime.

Score: 7

Two men are talking and one says to the other "Man, my wife is an angel."

The other one answered: "Lucky you, mine is still alive."

Score: 6

If the angel Gabriel came from heaven how was he so sure that Mary was pregnant?

Score: 6

The transcriber of the book of Revelations misheard the Angel Gabriel The world isn't going to end with trumpets.

It's going to end with Trump/Pence.

Score: 6

Two men are in a pub One says to his mate, “My mother-in law is an angel.” His friend replies, “You’re lucky. Mine is still alive."

Score: 6

Hey babe are you an angel? Because I'm allergic to feathers.

Score: 5

A man is resting on his death bed... As he waits to pass on, he sees the reaper approach his bedside.

"I am the angel of deaf!" Says the reaper.

The man, confused, asks "Don't you mean the angel of death?"

"...Could you repeat that?"

Score: 5

I hate it when kids spell "angel" as "angle" They're just trying to be edgy.

Score: 4

A friend told me that his mother-in-law is a real angel. I told him how lucky he is, mine is still alive.

Score: 4

Went out for drinks with my tinder date... She ordered the angel shot with lime :(

Score: 3

A Las Vegas joke Criss Angel

Score: 2

Most guys think i look like an angel... because they don't see me.

Score: 2

What do you call it when an angel cuts itself? A slice of heaven

Score: 2

I've been having some kooky luck recently. You see, all of my recent dates have had the same taste in beverage Whatever these "Angel Shots" are, they're really catching on

Score: 2

Popular Topics