During my check-up I asked my doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy live?"
He replied, "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus right now"
I said, "I don't believe in any of that astrology bullshit doc"
"Neither do I. My thermometer just broke"
There's only one group of people dumb enough to believe in astrology... Scorpios
My girlfriend and I broke up over astrology. She's a Taurus, but I don't believe in bullshit.
A man goes to the doctor for a check-up.
Man: Will I be alright doc?
Doctor: You are in grave danger, Mercury is in Uranus.
Man: I don't buy in to that astrology nonsense!
Doctor: Neither do I. My thermometer broke.
Let's be thankful WebMD never got into Astrology... Otherwise everybody would just be a Cancer
What don't they name train stations after astrology signs? No passenger would ever make it past the terminal Cancer!
I said to my doctor "I think I'm obsessed with Astrology" He said "What are the signs?"
I told my superstitious friend I was having knee pains
She said "I have been reading into astrology and its said that Capricorn, the sea-goat, has more knee pains. Are you a Capricorn?"
I said "No ma'am. I'm a Taurus, and that's bull."
What made the astrology woman such a freak? She let Gemini both have a go with her.
When she asked me about my sign I told her I don't believe in astrology... Because I'm a Sagittarius and we're skeptical.
Astrology
gotta be careful, my astrologer just warned me someone pretending to predict the future would steal my money.
twitter.com/juliussharpe
You should never use an astrology sign generator. It might give you cancer.
Why was astrology invented? So economics would seem like an accurate science.
I stopped believing in astrology when my psychic cancelled my appointment. She said it was for "unforseen circumstances"
My son (who is into astrology) asked me “How do stars die?” Being the intellectual I am, I replied “Usually through an overdose”
I don't believe in astrology. Typical Taurus.
I don't believe in astrology at all. But I am a scorpio, and we are all born skeptics.
Guy goes to the doctors.
Man: Will I be OK Doc.?
Doctor: "I doubt it, Mercury is in Uranus right now."
Man: "I don't do that Astrology stuff."
Doctor: "Me neither, my thermometer just broke!"
What do you get when you cross astronomy and cosmology with a dyslexic girl at starbucks? Astrology, cosmetology, and a pumpkin space latte
I can’t stand when people talk about astrology like it’s real. I’m such an Aries.
My doctor asked my astrology sign. I told him and he responded, "well what a coincidence..."