Bard Jokes

A new cache of pencils chewed by Shakespeare have been found The bard apparently chewed them so much, he couldnt tell if they were 2B or not 2B

Score: 68

What is the difference between a secret service agent and Liberace? One's a body guard and the other's a gaudy bard.

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Sorry...

Score: 19

What happened to the bard that planned a murder with a lute? It went all achording to plan.

Score: 8
Funny Bard Jokes
Score: 5

Why couldn't the Bard seduce the Gelatinous Cube? Because the cube was a platonic solid.

Score: 5

What do you call a minstrel that doesn't cuddle? No holds bard.

Score: 4

A musician had nothing to do so he decided to go have a drink, but the door was locked. The bar door barred the bored bard.

Score: 4

Did you hear about the bard that was in the army? He was a lute-tenant.

Score: 4

I can't decide whether to join the bard's college or the thieves' guild... I guess I'll just have to weigh the prose and cons. :)

Score: 4

D&D multiclassing jokes Q: How do you know if you've seen a multiclass ranger/rogue?
A: If you've seen them, they aren't one.

Q: What do you call a multiclass sorcerer/bard?
A: Whatever they make you call them...your delusion of free will is cute.

Score: 3

What do you call an Islamic militant Shakespeare? The Allahu Ak-Bard.

Score: 3

I went into a pub in Stratford and said in my best Shakespearean voice, "A flagon of your finest ale please, Falstaff. "

They threw me out. Told me I was bard.

Score: 3

A man with a lute... ..went to the pub for a drink, but the bouncer stopped him and said, "Sorry mate, you're bard."

Score: 2

A bard walks up to a bored leprechaun. How many tunes should the bard play? Fortunes.

Score: 2

I've made a bard/rogue for DnD... His signature move is seducing the enemy with a dozen kisses, from shoulder to ear.

But apprently our party forbids neck-romancey

Score: 2

What do you call a traveling musician with no hands, who also loves to wrestle? No-Holds Bard.

Score: 2

What bird regals you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory? Bard owl.

Score: 2

Which sesame Street character is the best at writing plays? Big Bard

Score: 2

Shakespeare walks into a bar and the barmen says... "Get out! You're Bard"

Score: 1

Shakespeare and Robbie Burns walk into a bar... and the barman says: "Get out, you're both bard."

Score: 1

Why couldn't William Shakespeare go to the pub? Because he was bard!

Score: 1

What was Shakespeare's dirtiest work? Bard in the Bush

Score: 1

Shakespeare walks up to a bar in Italy. The barman says... you're a bard

Score: 1

What did biggie smalls say to the bard? Gimme the lute

Score: 1

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