A new cache of pencils chewed by Shakespeare have been found The bard apparently chewed them so much, he couldnt tell if they were 2B or not 2B
What is the difference between a secret service agent and Liberace?
One's a body guard and the other's a gaudy bard.
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Sorry...
What happened to the bard that planned a murder with a lute? It went all achording to plan.
Why couldn't the Bard seduce the Gelatinous Cube? Because the cube was a platonic solid.
What do you call a minstrel that doesn't cuddle? No holds bard.
A musician had nothing to do so he decided to go have a drink, but the door was locked. The bar door barred the bored bard.
Did you hear about the bard that was in the army? He was a lute-tenant.
I can't decide whether to join the bard's college or the thieves' guild... I guess I'll just have to weigh the prose and cons. :)
D&D multiclassing jokes
Q: How do you know if you've seen a multiclass ranger/rogue?
A: If you've seen them, they aren't one.
Q: What do you call a multiclass sorcerer/bard?
A: Whatever they make you call them...your delusion of free will is cute.
What do you call an Islamic militant Shakespeare? The Allahu Ak-Bard.
I went into a pub in Stratford and said in my best Shakespearean voice,
"A flagon of your finest ale please, Falstaff. "
They threw me out. Told me I was bard.
A man with a lute... ..went to the pub for a drink, but the bouncer stopped him and said, "Sorry mate, you're bard."
A bard walks up to a bored leprechaun. How many tunes should the bard play? Fortunes.
I've made a bard/rogue for DnD...
His signature move is seducing the enemy with a dozen kisses, from shoulder to ear.
But apprently our party forbids neck-romancey
What do you call a traveling musician with no hands, who also loves to wrestle? No-Holds Bard.
What bird regals you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory? Bard owl.
Which sesame Street character is the best at writing plays? Big Bard
Shakespeare walks into a bar and the barmen says... "Get out! You're Bard"
Shakespeare and Robbie Burns walk into a bar... and the barman says: "Get out, you're both bard."
Why couldn't William Shakespeare go to the pub? Because he was bard!
What was Shakespeare's dirtiest work? Bard in the Bush
Shakespeare walks up to a bar in Italy. The barman says... you're a bard
What did biggie smalls say to the bard? Gimme the lute