Why are police officers bad at Billiards? They hit eight ball first because it was black.
What's big and green, brown and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would certainly kill you? A pool table... (A billiards table)
In billiards, how many shots do you get on the black?
One.
Unless you're an American policeman.
I like my billiards like I like my women, in the kitchen... Just kidding, ball in hand.
Why are drug addicts bad at billiards? Because they only pay to shoot up the eight ball