Why are police officers bad at Billiards? They hit eight ball first because it was black.
What two games does Carl Sagan play at the bar? Billiards and Billiards
What's big and green, brown and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would certainly kill you? A pool table... (A billiards table)
In billiards, how many shots do you get on the black?
One.
Unless you're an American policeman.
I like my billiards like I like my women, in the kitchen... Just kidding, ball in hand.
Why are drug addicts bad at billiards? Because they only pay to shoot up the eight ball