Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion Probably because Mexico has more aliens
Did you hear what NASA's new slogan will be once their budget is cut? "NASA: The Sky's The Limit"
After installing a personal budget control app, I saw how much money I spend on beer every month. This opened my eyes. Clearly, I shouldn't do this anymore. I deleted the app.
What do you call a low budget circumcision? A rip-off
Why was the accountant constipated? He couldn't budget.
What do you call a budget circumcision? A rip off.
I can't buy any protein powder Because it's whey out of my budget!
After Trump changes course of hurricane with a sharpie House approves budget of 12 crayons for border wall
Where do amputees get prosthetics on a budget? The Secondhand store.
Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn't Budget<drops mic>
Ironically I'm an Accountant and have Chron's so this is not my problem.
How do you host an amnesia support group on a budget? The moment they show up, tell them the meeting went great and their speech was inspiring.
Why was the accountant constipated? Because he couldn't budget
Did you hear they're making a low-budget version of Dunkirk? They're calling it Dunkirkland
I can’t believe the way they used the Childrens Health Insurance Program during the budget debate... It was like a bargaining CHIP.
did you hear about the constipated accountant? he couldn't budget.
Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
They couldn’t budget
Eventually they did work it out with a pencil though.
What do cannibals on a budget eat?
Ramen.
(Sound it out.)
Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He used a pencil to budget
Time is like a mountain It is very difficult to budget
What do your d*** and the GoT CGI budget have in common? ... they both could've been bigger.
I just ordered a metal box taken straight from the wreckage of Chernobyl. What? I'm on a budget. It was the cheapest microwave I could find.
So I heard today... Trump's wall budget is 3 Billion more than NASA's budget for the year...apparently NASA doesn't deal with as many aliens as trump does.
My new Rolls Royce
I just bought a vintage Rolls Royce, but the budget didn't cover a driver.
So I spent all that money, and I've got nothing to chauffeur it.
Having more kids is like making movie sequels They require a bigger budget, have a worse plot, and get progressively more difficult to name.
Would you hire a budget hitman? I dunno, they're pretty hit or miss
My nephew is turning three next week, but due to budget issues, we're not going to tell him.
Did you hear the one about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget.
An accountant at a bank was constipated Apparently he couldn't budget, but he worked it out with a pencil and paper and it was all good.
If I had a dollar If I had a dollar for every time an idea got shot down in the meeting because "We don't have the budget", I would finally have the money to execute that idea.
Trump may be 2 trillion short on his budget... It's not his fault, though. It's just a Conservative estimate.
How was Clinton able to maintain a budget surplus during his presidency? He had a great Al Gore rhythm.