How do you make a neato burrito? With cool beans.
The school year is like a burrito.
Once you're halfway through you want to give up because everything's just falling apart.
Edit: and you're proud of yourself if you can finish the whole thing without dying.
How is being a Jew like eating a burrito? It's really not a problem until they give you gas.
The school year is like a burrito... After 3 quarters you're full but you have to keep going even though it's all falling apart.
Chipotle is releasing a new "Ravens" burrito. It comes with everything but rice.
What does a duck put in its burrito? Quackamole.
Wrote this while waiting for a burrito in 2009
What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?
One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.
A taco and a burrito walk into a bar.
The taco starts talking the bartender's ear off while the burrito stays silent and sips his drink. Finally the bartender says, "Hey, why is he so quiet?"
The taco replies, "Oh, sorry. I'm just a lot more open than he is."
what do you call a boring burrito? aburrido
How many workers does it take to run a burrito factory? Just Juan
I like to put grilled chicken in my egg and cheese stuffed breakfast burrito... Nothing warms my heart and stomach more than reuniting a mother and child.
That one time i hired a hooker...
... She offered me the girlfriend experience for no extra charge, of course i accepted ...
... i did not expect however that she would roll up in to a blanket burrito, order Pizza and watch Netflix.
What does a McChicken, a whopper, a beefy 5-layer burrito, and an extra most bestest pizza have in common? They've all seen me naked.
I tried a new asian burrito recently, but the green onions kept falling out. Curse those wrap-scallions!
What do you call Muhammad Ali after he eats a burrito? Gaseous Clay
What is a symbiote's favorite meat for their burrito? Carnage Asada
What did the female couple order on their burrito? Less beans.
What did the breakfast burrito say when it was being eaten for lunch?
Hey I'm not a LUNCH burrito!
(courtesy of a 7 year old lol sorry)
My girlfriend was just like a spicy burrito. It hurt when she left me
When you listen to a foreign language song. Despacito I don't know the lyrics so I ate a burrito and my mom has a dorito oh oh oh
Carl the serial killer was sentenced to death. He requested a steak burrito from Chipotle as his last meal.
When asked if he wanted chips and guac he said "yes but hold the guac, it gives me indigestion."
Edit: this was funnier in my head
What’s the difference between a burrito and a wrap? $5.00 and mayonnaise
A white guy walks into a restaurant and orders a burrito and a soft taco. The waiter, annoyed, tells the guy, "Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant" so the man says, "Okay give me a rurrito and a roft raco".
What do you call a frightened baby donkey? A chicken burrito.
What is an out of date joke you still remember?
One from the 90's:
What do you call a little burro?
A Burrito.
What do you call a little taco?
A Taquito
What do you call a little judge?
A Judge Ito
How much does a Chinese burrito weigh? Won Ton
I tried writing a song about a burrito But it turned into a wrap
Why don't you want stoners working at Taco Bell? They'll lick my burrito.
I like my Chipotle burrito how Trump liked his America White please, no beans.