Crappy Jokes

A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap? "Because this stupid parrot keeps reposting crappy jokes" said the pet store employee.

Score: 391

Can a crappy dinosaur joke get a laugh? You bet Jurassican.

Score: 69

Why does the hipster make crappy coffee? The beans are always under-ground.

Score: 22

What do you get when two antenna get married? A crappy wedding but great reception.

Score: 17

Why do jazz musicians prefer to drive crappy old cars? Because they're always making a new sound.

Score: 11

Black Joke Why do black people have nice clothes, expensive jewelry, and drive fancy cars with rims but live in crappy houses/apartments?

-They haven't figured out how to steal houses yet.

Score: 10

Crappy biology bar joke A few cells enter a bar. They sit in a corner and talk amongst themselves, drink moderately and don't pick up a fight with anyone. They leave the bar quietly.




Because they were cultured cells..

Score: 10

What did the cell brother say to his cell sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis


EDIT: Sorry for the crappy pun, but at least it wasn't one about eggs. I don't tell those types of yolks. Sorry I just really crack myself up.

Score: 8

Give a man a fish... And apparently you’re a crappy secret Santa.

Score: 8

My girlfriend's a crappy computer ... she always shuts down when I need her but never shuts up when I don't.

Score: 7

I was given MDMA and LSD tonight... Man, what crappy letters to start off a game of Scrabble!

Score: 7

I'm going to change my Facebook username to NOBODY. So when people make crappy posts and I like them, it will say "NOBODY likes this."

Score: 6

What is black and stuck to the ceiling? A crappy electrician

Score: 6

What do you call a crappy circumcision A rip off!

Score: 6

crappy pun me: you know how sometimes caps lock locks you out of a website ,because you forgot to turn it off when typing the password
human society: yes
me: I guess caps lock is awfully shifty

Score: 6

Nobody I'll change my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts,and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this

Score: 5

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

Bonus: Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not the little girl...
EDIT: Pardon the crappy delivery, english isn't my fist language. ;)

Score: 5

I'm a 25 year old virgin and I'm hoping that this is the year I get laid. My dad said he'd buy me an escort... It's nice of him, but to be honest I don't see how a crappy old Ford is gonna help.

Score: 5

My watch fell into the toilet. I'm having a real crappy time now.

Score: 5

I was staying in a crappy motel. In the middle of the night a beautiful woman woke me up by pounding on the door and begging me to open it. I felt so bad... ... that I decided to let her out.

Score: 5

Crappy Joke Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar?

​

They each got 6 months

Score: 5

What’s a skeleton’s favourite instrument? If you were thinking a tromBONE you were wrong - they have no lungs! Obviously it’s a xyloBONE!

(Probably a really crappy joke but I came up with it last night and thought to post it here)

Score: 5

What do you call a crappy Muslim eye clinic? Asif Eyecare

Score: 5

I was looking at my bank statement and realized I was a .1 percent-er I don't know why anyone wants to be one, it's a crappy interest rate.

Score: 4

I drive a mail truck with the steering wheel on the right hand side. Sometimes I pretend I'm in England by Eating really crappy food

Score: 4

I have a father in law He’s a really crappy lawyer though..

Score: 4

You know the smallest things can get you fired, one time I got fired because I ripped up a crappy drawing I did Boy am I never gonna be a tattoo artist again

Score: 4

What does a crappy Carpenter make? Loose stools

Score: 3

what do you call a crappy sock puppet? sock pooppet

Score: 3

What do you do if your girlfriend tells you she is HIV positive? Tell her this is a crappy repost, and ask her to come up with some better material.

Score: 3

What do you call a chlamydia-infected photographer whose father has the runs? A snap-happy clappy chappie with a crappy pappy.

Score: 2

My hometown is so crappy… our Dollar General is still a Dollar Private.

Score: 2

What’s the worst part about clickbait joke titles? Crappy punch lines like this.

Score: 1

Two guys in home depot start talking One said "I wish there was a stupid store that bro dad's go to to make crappy one hole mini golf courses we could watch them stumble around not knowing anything"
The other said "dude that's lowe"

Score: 1

I know all of Alexas jokes are terrible sonI told her to tell me a crappy joke She goes: What kind of key can you make out of food? Dookie

Score: 1

When writing the word shift, make sure you don't forget the f. Otherwise you'll have quite the crappy spelling.

Score: 1

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