If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then... ... you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily.
Dad joke I came up with at work. I work at a grocery store produce department. Today there was some misplaced cheese in a cooler. I saw it was sharp provolone. I took it to the deli lady and once she read it I said "be careful, it's sharp."
Guy goes into a deli
He looks over the menu:
Ham sandwich: $5
Roast beef sandwich: $7.50
He looks at the hot blonde behind the counter and says, "who gives the handjob?"
"I do!" She says with a smile!
"Well, wash your hands and make me a ham sandwich"
My family is getting worried about my consumption of deli meats, and I'm not sure what to do... They're trying to pressure me into quitting cold turkey!
I've got a terrible addiction, I can't stop eating deli meats. I'm trying to quit cold turkey.
TIFU by taking someone else's sandwich at the deli today Oops... wrong sub
James Bond orders a sandwich
James Bond goes to a deli and orders a club sandwich.
The employee says to him, "Mr. Bond, we have ham or turkey. How would you like it?"
Bond replies, "bacon, not bird."
I want to start a cafe and fill it with surrealist paintings. I'll call it Salvador Deli.
Deli meats I knew a guy who was addicted to deli meats. He just couldn't quit cold turkey.
What do you call a singer who sells meat? A Deli.
I got addicted to eating deli meat right out of the refrigerator... But I decided to quit cold turkey.
The word is: perpetuate The question is: How do they charge you at a vietnamese deli?
What did Adele name her sandwich shop? A deli
TIFU by giving someone the wrong sandwich at a deli Whoops, wrong sub
This happened at the Deli counter today...real life joke
Me (at the deli counter): I'd like some salami please, about a pound, sliced thin?
DeliGirl: Genoa salami?
Me: Yeah, I know a couple.
Everyone mourns our fallen heroes... But I'm the only one who cried when I dropped my deli sandwich
What did the surrealist butcher name his shop? Salvador Deli
I've been dating this lady who is gluten free... Problem is, we go to a deli, she asks, "do you want to split a sandwich." I say, "sure" and then I'm just left with the bread.
A man went to rehab for being addicted to deli meats He stopped cold turkey
Why does the royal family hate deli meats? Because they’re in bread
What do you call a religious animal that loves sandwiches? The Deli Llama.
People in India must really enjoy sandwiches. I heard there were almost 250,000 people in a new deli.
Trump got a sandwich named after him at his favorite deli.
Commander in Cheese Meltdown.
They put it on the kid's menu.
I heard a joke about sandwiches [DELI-ted]
A deli's competitor falsely accused them of using expired cream cheese on their bagels. It was all just a schmear campaign.
Did you hear about the shop that just opened in India that sells fresh meat and cheese? It's a new deli.
What did the DJ order from the deli? A club sandwich with extra beets.
A friend of mine is so politically correct.... At the deli he is afraid to ask for " white American " cheese.
If a woman ever pulls a knife out on you during an argument.... ....pull out some bread, deli meat and cheese. Her instincts will kick in and she'll make you a sandwich.
Did you guys here about the opening of a new retail establishment that sells a selection of fine, unusual or foreign prepared food in the capital in India? Or as I like to call it, a new deli in New Delhi
A man is getting some deli meat...
And he asks the clerk: "How long does turkey last?"
The clerk replies: "oh about 5 days or so."
Man:"Really?! That doesn't sound right, I think it's closer to 2 weeks!
Clerk:"Oh no that's a bunch of bologna"
What do you call a footballer in a cheese isle Deli ally
Answer: "Perpetuate". What is the question? How are you charged in a Vietnamese Deli?
My friend told me he had an addiction to refridgerated deli meats I told him he needs to quit cold turkey