Donald Duck Jokes

If someone tries to shoot the President... The Secret Service will have to yell "Donald duck!"

Score: 745

What will the secret service yell when something is hurtling towards the president? Donald duck!

Score: 535

What do you call a mouse on 2 legs Friend "i dont know"
Me "mickey mouse"
Me "what do you call a duck on 2 legs"
Friend "donald duck"
Me " all ducks idiot"

Score: 218

The secret service used to yell "Get Down" whenever the president was in immediate danger Now they yell "Donald Duck!"

Score: 79

Trump's Secret Service is going to have a problem If someone shoots at him, they will yell "Donald Duck, Donald Duck"

Score: 46

Micky Mouse isn't quick enough to avoid my punches. But Donald ducks.

Score: 45

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? Because Donald ducked.

Score: 31

BREAKING. With Disney buying Star Wars Donald Duck will now have four nephews. Huey, Louie, Dewey and Chewie.

Score: 23

What do you say when someone throws something at the president? Donald Duck

Score: 15

What is the difference between Donald Duck and Donald Trump? One is a cartoon character with a hot temper and the other is a duck.

Score: 14

What happens when Hillary throws relevant questions? Donald Ducks


I'll show myself out

Score: 13

So I said, "As a matter of fact I do. Why does... Donald Duck Duck walk around all day with no pants on, but after he takes a shower he puts a towel around his waist?" And the waiter said, "No I meant do you have any questions about our menu."

Score: 13

I went to the Doctors and told him kept hallucinating and seeing Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck and their pals..... The Doc said not to worry...you're just having Disney spells...

Score: 11

Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked.

Score: 10

So Donald Duck was sent to rehab.. He had a big problem. He was addicted to quack.

Score: 7

Trump’s bodyguards have found a new phrase for “Mr. President get down!” Donald duck!

Score: 6

Disneyland prices are now well over $100 a person. maybe now they'll buy Donald Duck some pants.

Score: 6

Dad: what mouse walks on 2 feet? Me:
Dad: Mickey Mouse
Dad: What duck walks on 2 feet?
Me: Donald Duck?
Dad: All ducks, dumbass

Score: 6

What did Mickey Mouse say to Trump when Goofy threw a shoe at him? DONALD DUCK !!!

Score: 5

Mickey and Minnie walked into a bar Donald ducked

Score: 5

If you saw an assassin running towards the president... Would you say "Donald Duck"?

Score: 5

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Donald Duck? There is a human being inside of Donald Duck.

Score: 3

Donald Duck What’s Donald Duck’s drug of choice?

Quack Cocaine

Score: 3

Which cartoon character have you seen live? Donald Duck

Score: 3

Donald Duck has been hanged... ...And is now in a state of suspended animation.

Score: 2

What similarities do Donald Trump and Donald Duck have in common besides their name? They’re both quacks.

Score: 2

What’s so special about Mickey Mouse What’s so special about Mickey Mouse: He walks two legged

What’s so special about Donald Duck: You guessed wrong all ducks stand on two feet

Score: 2

What do you tell the president before he walks into a bar? Donald duck.

Score: 2

What did Mickey Mouse say when a Frisbee was heading towards Trump? Donald Duck!

Score: 2

What did Donald Duck become after losing his tv show? a quack dealer.

Score: 1

What's the difference between dining with Donald Duck and having dinner with Bill Cosby? They will both offer to share a little bill, but only one will leave you with a fowl aftertaste the next morning.

Score: 1

Have you heard about Donald Duck getting arrested this week? He was caught selling "quack"

Score: 1

You should have seen their faces when I showed up as Donald Duck at the costume party. Yeah I was wearing no pants and I arrived with three boys who are not mine.

Score: 1

What’s Donald Ducks favorite “System of a Down” song ? Chop Fuey

Score: 1

What’s the difference between a Looney Tunes family reunion & an assassination attempt? At the reunion, I hope I see Donald Duck.

Score: 1

Meanwhile in the US They don't say "get down Mr President" anymore.
Now they just shout , Donald Duck!

Score: 1

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