If a tree falls in the woods, and there are no English majors around to hear it... does is lay on the ground, or lie?
It's sad to see people with MBA's ending up as McDonald's cashiers They're taking jobs from English majors.
How do you comfort an English Major? There, their, they’re....
What did the English major have after getting intestinal surgery? A semicolon
If there's one thing my English major girlfriend has taught me, It's what a colon does.
What kind of drink do English majors favour?.... Tequila mockingbird
Why did the English majors switch to Spanish? (OC) Too many persuasive esses.
There were officials in World War 1 that were discussing a plan.
English General: Plan?
English Lieutenant: We can use trenches to—
English Major: symbolize man’s emptiness.
What did the English major say to the Theatre major? Now my friend, we play the waiting game!
What do you call rude English Majors? Moby Dicks
Why did the English major break up with the pilot? Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over.
Trump Joke (really more of a witticism or aphorism, I'm not sure, I'm not an English major) My problem with Trump, isn't that he sees complex social issues as black and white, it's that he sees them as blacks and whites.
A redneck is standing trial in front of a jury of English majors....
Judge says: "How do you plead?"
The man replies: "I didn't do nothin'!"
Jury walks out. Case closed.
I was hitting on an English major and used several puns to try and impress her. No pun in ten did.