I bought a fitbit... I haven't went running yet, but I jerked off for six miles today.
My wife woke me up all excited this morning... She said honey look at all the pounds I've lost. I told her that she was looking at our retirement account not her fitbit.
According to my Fitbit I've masturbated 4 miles today
What's the difference between my Fitbit and my girlfriend? My Fitbit never gets disappointed in me after it says "I'm almost there!" and then i come up short
I ate so much at Thanksgiving,
I had to loosen my Fitbit.
(Credit to my future mother-in-law for this suprise zinger)
So I just got a new FitBit. Everytime I take the stairs instead of the elevator, I tell myself "For the watch!"
Things that didn't exist the last time England were in the semis
iPhone
Facebook
Google
Amazon
Android
Twitter
Instagram
iPod
Yahoo
YouTube
Snapchat
Spotify
Tesla
Skype
Uber
Airbnb
Bitcoin
Fitbit
Emojis
iPad
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Croatia
According to my Nike Fitbit I masturbated 4 miles today
What do you call a vampire wearing a fitbit? Count Steps
I got a fitbit to get a sense for my activity level After a few days of wearing it, it asked if I was a tree
My friend thought I was lazy because I could count on one hand how much I moved today... They didn't know I was wearing a FitBit
Whenever I fall short on my steps for the day with my Fitbit I switch it to my dominate arm And end up beating the goal.
If you have Parkinson's and wear a FitBit You're in good shape!
I found a way to increase the number of steps on my Fitbit I wore it on the right hand
The Mandalorian Mando should invest in a Fitbit with all the walking he does..