Flood Jokes

Where did Noah keep the bees during the flood? In the Ark Hives.

Score: 446
Funny Flood Jokes
Score: 50

In light of some recent idiotic questioning by reporters A man is interviewed after his wife was swept away in a flood. The reporter asks "Were you close with your wife?" He responds, "No, we drifted apart recently."

Score: 33

What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? Flood lights

Score: 19

After the Great Flood After the Great Flood, Noah sends the animals to go forth and multiply.

A pair of snakes stayed behind. Noah asked, why they stayed.

The pair of snakes replies “We can't multiply, we're adders” ...

so Noah builds them a log table

Score: 15

After a flood of forged financial documents from a small eastern european country, an urgent warning was issued by banks worldwide CHECK CZECH CHEQUES

Score: 12

What does a cyclone, flood, fire and a woman have in common? Sooner or later one of em will get your house....

Score: 11

A reporter in Houston asked a woman how many churches were open during the flood She said; "I don't know I eat at KFC"

Score: 10

I wasn't very fond of the Flood from Halo. But then they kinda grew on me.

Score: 10

Anheuser Busch is using a Georgia brewery to can water for flood victims in Oklahoma and Texas They're labeling very clearly so people don't confuse it with Bud Light

Score: 5

A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief... Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed.

Score: 4

What did Noah use to see at night on the Ark? Flood lights.

Score: 3

Why did the river cross the road? To flood New Orleans.

Score: 3

What's the integral of 1/(cabin) A natural log cabin.

Wait, I forgot the C

It's a flood victim house

Score: 3

Why do programmers hate designing flood defence simulations? Because of the overflow errors!

Score: 2

Wolfram-Alpha was recently shut down because of a flood of calculations that didn't make any sense at all being submitted at once. It was quite a cheeky NaNDDoS.

Score: 2

This flood is devastating. Everything in my kitchen ended up sinking with the exception of a carton of ice cream and some root beer. They stayed afloat.

Score: 2

What kind of lights did Noah put on the ark? Flood lights.

Score: 2

What happened to the broom in the flood? He got swept away.

Score: 2

Why do you have to act quickly during a flood? Because it's an emergent sea.

Score: 2

Saw a group of magical insects escape a flood in a tiny ship of their own creation. Could this be the fabled Ark of the Coven-Ants?

Score: 2

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common? Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

Score: 1

Why did the flood barrier rupture? Dam good question.

Score: 1

Criminals flood in from across the English Channel. "They have no respect for our laws," said a Marseille policeman ahead of England's first game.

Score: 1

To anyone stuck in the flood Crying is only making the problem worse.

Score: 1

About 600 gators are now in the flood water in Houston >About 600 gators are now in the flood water in Houston

Apparently HIV-positive blood has leaked into said water

They're warning people not to go in the water because of the GatorAIDS

Score: 1

I used to work at an aquarium... It was destroyed in a flood, and I feel like I've lost my porpoise

Score: 1

In the wake of Hurricane Florence, residents of North Carolina are returning home to deal with flood damage, mold, and apparently with the arrival of the President... Tiny mushrooms.

Score: 1

Why did all the dogs survive Noah’s Flood? They were all good buoys

Score: 1

Someone knocked on my door and asked if could help with the flood in Iraq i said i would but my hose only reaches the end of my driveway

Score: 1

Popular Topics