Fortune Cookie Jokes

Today a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance Long story short, my girlfriend said no.

Score: 57
Funny Fortune Cookie Jokes
Score: 53

I just open a fortune cookie that had no paper inside... ...it was unfortunate.

Score: 19

Today I had a fortune cookie that had no fortune inside... ...it was very unfortunate.

Score: 15

Fortune cookie: "Every exit can be an entry" Long story short:
My girlfriens said no...

Score: 13

I got an empty fortune cookie the other day. It was unfortunate.

Score: 10

What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.



The real joke is that this is what my fortune cookie said.

Score: 8

I still remember my first fortune cookie... ...and how much it tasted like paper.

Score: 7

I once received a fortune cookie of which the fortune was immediately fulfilled... "You will have a weak dessert"

Score: 6

My friend eats his fortune cookies with the fortune still inside. I think he chews wisely

Score: 6

After finishing our Chinese food, my husband.........., After finishing our Chinese food, my husband and I cracked open our fortune cookies. Mine read, “Be quiet for a little while.” His read, “Talk while you have a chance.”

Score: 6

The other day I got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it, you know what I call that? I call that unfortunate.

Score: 5

"All your dreams will come true", said my fortune cookie And the next day I realized, I went to work naked and couldn't run when I got chased by that monster

Score: 5

My fortune cookie was spot on. It said, You will soon let go of a small piece of paper.

Score: 4

According to my fortune cookie I am getting a dolphin! It said my life will have a purpose.

Score: 4

I took adderall next to a box of fortune cookies... And now I'm fluent in Chinese.

Score: 3

I always swallow fortune cookies whole. It gives me something to read on the toilet.

Score: 3

My Future I have a lot more trust and faith in my guidance counselor's advice after getting an empty fortune cookie at a chinese restaurant.

Score: 3

What does a programmer say after reading the fortune they get from a fortune cookie? Embed

Score: 2

What is the most expensive cookie you can buy? A fortune cookie

Score: 2

A man got a fortune cookie without a fortune.... ... well that's unfortunate

Score: 1

What do you call a funny fortune cookie? An inside joke

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My fortune cookie had no fortune in it. That’s unfortunate

Score: 1

My fortune cookie told me today to not worry about money because the best things in life are free... I think the cookie is telling me to rob a bank.

Score: 1

A fortune cookie told me I would soon be making a change for the better, It’s amazing how it knew I was suicidal.

Score: 1

How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.


- Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

Score: 1

I tried making a small triangle out of paper... It looked more like a fortune cookie

That was unfortunate.

Score: 1

Did you hear about mrs. fortune cookies divorce? Now shes misfortune cookie.

Score: 0

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