Hilarious Funeral Home Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Score: 38

What do you call two funeral homes right next to each other? Stiff competition.

Score: 23

I've always wanted to own a funeral home.... With the slogan, "We love it when business is dead."

Score: 19

A man walks into a funeral home... He asks the mortician if he's had much business lately.
"Not really..." the mortician says, "It's been pretty dead around here".

Score: 9

Funeral homes really need spoiler warning signs on the front of their doors. In case any baby attends.

Score: 8

This bar that was near my house turned into a funeral home awhile back. The place isn’t as alive as it used to be, but they’ve still got some cold ones in the freezer.

Score: 7

I opened up the only funeral home in town and everyone is dying to get in.

Score: 7

One great perk about working at a funeral home... I always get to bring flowers home to my wife!

(Yes, I actually work at a mortuary. No, I don't do this)

Score: 5

I couldn't use my phone at the funeral home it was a dead zone.

Score: 4

I am finally going to be rich someday... I've invested in toilet paper and funeral homes.

'Cause at some point, everyone has to go!

Score: 4

I was walking around my neighborhood and I saw that the funeral home was completely packed. I guess people were really dying to get in there.

Score: 3

What do funeral home staff do if they mess up transporting a body? They go back and re-herse.

Score: 2

What do funeral home workers and football defenders have in common? They get yelled at if they let the wrong guy inside the box.

(OC)

Score: 2

Have you heard about that popular funeral home that opened last week? People are just dying to get in!

Score: 2

I got fired because answering the phone 'good morning' in the afternoon is wrong. I already miss working at that funeral home.

Score: 2

A young man is fired from his job after asking customers if they wanted “smoking or nonsmoking.” He was fired because the correct terminology in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial.”

Score: 2

So I added a line for Joe Chill at the end of Joker. As Joe Chill is walking down the alley : "It's time to put the old man in a home, A FUNERAL HOME!" \*BOOM\*

\*BOOM\* BYE MOM!!!

Score: 2

Why are there no funeral homes on the river? Because it is a no wake zone.

Score: 1

I had to go to the funeral home at 8am the other day ...the place was totally dead!

Score: 1

You know that new funeral home? People are dying to get in there.

Score: 1

A ghoul walks into a funeral home and asks... Is your corpse tender here ?

Score: 1

When kids tell someone "Ill be back" when going somewhere, that person gets amused Well my kid just found out the hard way that you can't say this at a funeral home or area 51.

Score: 0