Gardening Jokes

Sherlock was gardening when Watson came over and asked what he was planting. "A lemon tree, Watson".

Score: 117

I saw Michael J. Fox in a gardening centre the other day... He had his back to the fuchsia.

Score: 79

When I do the gardening, I alphabetise my herbs, people often ask how I find the time. I respond with "Easy, Thyme is right between the Tarragon and Turmeric"

Score: 27

I have a gardening tool that I use to dig up large amounts of treasure So yeah, I got a big booty hoe

Score: 16
Funny Gardening Jokes
Score: 15

Roses are red, violets are blue I’m just telling you gardening facts.

Score: 12

I used to be afraid of gardening... ...but then I thought I'd grow a pear.

Score: 7

My wife would always nag me to do the gardening.. Eventually I had to put that hoe in the ground.

Score: 6

You wife was a stripper and now teaches gardening classes... You have skills...

I didn’t know you could lead a horticulture

Score: 6

So my neighbour is outside gardening topless again today I just wish his wife would do the same

Score: 6

I think I saw Michael J Fox in a gardening centre earlier... It was hard to tell, he had his back to the Fuchsias.

Score: 5

I didn't really like gardening at first But then it started to grow on me

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Found on a gardening store sign: We're so glad spring is here, we wet our plants.

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My rapper friend has started a really successful gardening tool delivery business. He’s got hoes in different area codes.

Score: 4

I got kicked out of a gardening store when I asked for help All I said to the worker was where are the hoes at

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Religious gardening rising in popularity with today's youth. Parents around the nation are alarmed at their teens obsession with Sects and Violets.

Score: 3

I used to be afraid of gardening... ...but then I decided to grow a pear.

Score: 3

did you hear about the clumsy musician who tried gardening? he dropped the beet

Score: 3

I hear the devil is good at gardening. Why else would everyone want his lettuce so badly?

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My wife ran inside terrified after throwing rocks and cursing at the people walking towards our house wielding chainsaws this morning... Can anyone recommend another gardening company?

Score: 3

Roses are red, Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow

I bet you were expecting something romantic but no, this us just gardening facts

Score: 3

I stole some gardening equipment from a pimp. He found me, grabbed me by my collar and shouted, "Where my hoes at?"

Score: 3

Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have? I planted myself on my couch at the beginning of March and I've grown significantly since.

Score: 3

While gardening, I accidently unearthed a tulip bulb. "Whoops." I said "Sorry bud."

Score: 2

gardening i spent alot of my days trying to grow a specific seasoning in my garden. it took forever, but once it finally produced, i had the thyme of my life.

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I called my wife a hoe... Hey, she's good at gardening.

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Did you hear about the obscenely hard gardening class required for botany majors? It was said to be a weed out class

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What do you call gardening equipment on the painting “Starry Night”? A Hoe on the Gogh

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Why aren't bathtubs good at gardening? Because they're showers not growers.

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Today is "Naked Gardening Day!" Or as my dad called it: "Binoculars Day!"

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Where did the pirate do his gardening In the yarrrrrrrrrrrrd

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Did you know that if you keep on beating gold it gets harder? This is known as work gardening and it leads me to believe that Gold Finger may have been evil simply because he was lonely.

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This term for a long-handled gardening tool ...can also mean an immortal pleasure seeker. What is it?

A hoe?

No! It's a rake.

Score: 1

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