I just explained Google to my Granny.
"Pick anything to search for" I told her.
"What about a nice cream pie?" She asked.
"Except that." I replied.
Son: Hey Dad, theres some guy collecting for the old folks home at the door Dad: Great! Give him Granny!
What's the difference between a necrophiliac and someone with a granny fetish? A couple of weeks
"Granny, why do you read obituaries every day?" "Don't worry grandson. I just want to see who is single again."
Once, when my grandma stepped out of the bathtub... and my sister commented that the hair on her ‘‘privates’’ was getting rather sparse, Granny retorted that "grass don’t grow on a racetrack".
A girl is singing her favorite songs
Her grandma comes in the room and says: ,,Oh, that was you, I thought it was the radio."
Girl: ,,And you came to listen granny!? :D"
,,Naw, I wanted to turn off the radio."
Sonny, sonny, what's the name of that German that hides our things around the house? Alzheimer, granny, Alzheimer!
“My granny was recently beaten to death by my grandad. Not as in, with a stick – he just died first
a pervert calls a retirement home
an old lady picks up.
he starts directly "hey granny guess what i am holding in my hand ? "
granny replies " oh if it fits in one hand only then i am not interested "
Not properly prescripted
- Granny, have you seen my pills? They are oval shaped with the initials "LSD" engraved on 'em.
- F*ck them, darling! Can't you see there is a dragon in our kitchen?!
What is a cannibal's favorite fruit? Granny Smith
Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac? Quiet son and help me pull granny off the door handle!
For almost the last ten years, I've received a Valentine's Day card from the same secret admirer. So I was really hurt and upset when I didn't receive one this year. First me granny dies, now this?
Why don't ghosts have babies?
Because they have hallow-weenies.
This was one of my Granny's favorite jokes as a kid.
My grandma called and told me she had a cataract removed... I told her, “Yeah I know, granny. They got my car too.”
What is the difference between a granny fetish and necrophilia? A couple of weeks
My Grandpa seemed distraught after losing his watch at the Nursing Home. I said, Grandpa, what will you do.......He gave me a wink and said.....I will search every Nook and Granny
I inherited hypertension from my granny. She taught me to take everything with a grain of salt.
Family Fight My neighbours’ family had a huge fight yesterday. Allegedly it started when their son introduced his girlfriend and granny responded: ‘See what happens when you don’t pray?’
Mom
Can we go out and play with granny?
Yes, just don't bite her nails or I'll close the coffin
For the past 20 years, I’ve been getting Valentine’s Day cards from a secret admirer.
So I was pretty upset when I didn’t get one this year.
First my granny dies, now this?
Granny
Son asks his father:
S: "Does granny know something about automatic transmission?"<br>
D: "No"<br>
S: "And what about diesel engines?"<br>
D: "No"<br>
S: "Then why are they showing her in TV lying under a bus?"
Mature women have the greatest genetalia. Believe me, I've searched every nookie'n'granny.
What’s the difference between a Granny and Necrophillia? A couple of weeks