Hanukkah Jokes

UNAPPRECIATED HANUKKAH GIFT A Jewish guy's mother gives him two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time he visits her, he makes sure to wear one.

As he walks into the house, his mother frowns and asks, "What -- you didn't like the other one?"

Score: 47

8 Days’ Worth Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards. “What denomination?” asks the postal clerk.

Mary thinks a second before 
replying, “Give me six Orthodox, 
12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.”

Score: 8

Hanukkah joke My mother once gave me two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one.

As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, 'Aaron, what's the matter? You didn't like the other one?'

Score: 4
Funny Hanukkah Jokes
Score: 3

With Hanukkah upon us, how does a Jewish man prepare his tea? Hebrews it.

Score: 3

What do you call someone who celebrates Christmas sometimes and Hanukkah sometimes? Jew-ish

Score: 3

If the majority of people in the US celebrate Christmas Then the amount of people that celebrate Hanukkah are in the menorahty

Score: 2

A guy wore a Hanukkah shirt to a Christmas party... He was in the Menorah Tee.

Score: 2

Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards "What denomination?" asks the postal clerk.

Mary thinks a second before replying, "Give me six Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform."

Score: 2

Hanukkah Greetings Woman at the post office: I'd like fifty Hanukkah stamps, please.

Post office clerk: Certainly. What denomination?

Woman: Oh, so it's come to this? Okay, give me six Orthodox, twelve Conservative, and thirty-two Reform.

Score: 1

Hanukkah is a truly Jewish holiday. What other group of people would celebrate saving on oil?

Score: 1

My dad is Jewish but my mom is Christian so I’m half Jewish (oc) Since I’m half Jewish I only get half of everything Jewish, 4 candles at Hanukkah, just a mitzvah, and such, as well as half the jokes. So, two rabbis walk into a bar

Score: 1

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