My girlfriend got upset when I said she'd look sexier with her hair back Apparently it's harsh to say to a cancer patient.
Wife: "Honey, I think you're a little to harsh to one of our kids." Husband: "Who do you mean? John, Michael or the fat one?"
People think my diabetes jokes are harsh. But it’s not like I can sugarcoat it.
Ban?????
"How did things go organizing a muslim travelling band?"
"Band? Sir, i'm sorry we thought you said ban."
"Ban! That's a bit harsh isn't it? Nevermind, how are things progressing with our new Mexican mall?"
Trump: "Let's get that Muslim band going"
"Band? We thought you said ban"
Trump: "No way, that's harsh. Also, how's the Mexican mall going?"
I remember my mother telling me, “I have no favorite child.” Harsh seeing as I’m an only child.
Trump: "Hows that Mexican mall going?"
"Mall? We thought you said wall"
Trump: "No way that's harsh, also hows that Muslim band looking?"
Before going to party my dad said, "Don't bring any girls home, tonight." That was pretty harsh I thought, considering my sister went with me.
I offered to give my daughter a lift to school.
"Come on," said my wife, "she's big enough to take the bus by herself."
I said, "That's harsh. She's not *that* overweight."
I got a $900 fine and a month of community service for urinating in public...
If you ask me it was a harsh punishment for only a wee crime.
I'll see myself out.
When I was young, I remember my mom constantly reminding everyone at dinner that she didn’t have a favourite child. Harsh, given that I’m her only kid.
History has been harsh on Hitler, but you've gotta give it to him ... ... he did kill Hitler.
Gravity is a harsh mistress... *... but she has reasonable rates!*
How did the linguistics professor punish the late student? He gave him a harsh sentence.
I use to support higher spending on education. But then I learned a harsh truth. No matter how smart we we make children, 50% of them will still be below average.
A man goes to court after murdering both parents
Judge: You are guilty for killing your parents. How do you plead?
Man: Guilty
Judge: I sentence you to thir...
Man: (In tears) Please Sir, don't be too harsh. You know I'm an orphan
They classified a guy I work with morbidly obese which seems a little harsh... I mean, he has enough on his plate already.
Dad was always known for being harsh
- Dad, my watch fell from my wrist and stopped!
- What? Did you expect it to walk or something?
I tossed my wife into a well, but then I thought this was too harsh and threw her smartphone after her. So she can now enjoy digital well-being
So the woman sitting next to me on a plane with an infant in her lap looks over to me and asks, "do you mind if I breast feed?" And I respond, "no thanks I already ate." Too harsh of a dad joke?
I noticed Taco Bell cups say "welcome to the after party" on them. That's a harsh way to tell you that you just got diarrhea.....
We shouldn't be so harsh on lawyers. 99% of them are giving all the others a bad name.
I think it's a bit harsh to criticise Trump for trying to ban the export of masks He's just following medical advice and trying to keep 3M away from everyone else
Has the harsh winter turned you into a snow beast? Not Yeti.
A guy is talking to his crush.
Guy:You look pretty today!
Girl:Thanks!Do you compliment every person you meet?
Guy: Nah, I won't do so to people I consider ugly.(Guy hopes that girl takes the hint)
Girl:Is that why you are so harsh on yourself all the time?
I’ve developed a new medicine to help people sleep at night. It works better than normal off the shelf brands. Small pills taken with a liquid and there’s no harsh taste or smell. I’m calling them “Pill Cosbys”.
Y’know, people are way to harsh on Hitler I mean he did kill the guy who started the Holocaust.
My parents always said “I can’t tell you how much I love you.” I understood why, it would probably be too harsh for me to hear.
There was once the case of a licensed physician who was known for his harsh attitude on the job but he became markedly softer off of it. It was also known as the curious case of Dr. Heckle and Mr. Chide.
Climate change will decrease fish stocks and have harsh effects on the fisheries industry.... So after Trump pulls out, there will be sea men all over the place.