A Texan says to a Harvard student...
Texan: where are ya from?
Harvard Student: well, where *i'm* from, we don't end sentences with prepositions.
Texan: oh, alright. where are ya from, jackass?
I got accepted into Harvard's medical program I just have to die first and give them my body
How do you tell whether someone went to Harvard? You don’t. They will definitely tell you.
What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common? They both got accepted to Yale.
How do you know someone went to Harvard? They tell you.
How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep? Tip him for the pizza.
A Texan meets a Havard grad. Curious, he asks:
Texan: “Where are you from?”
Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”
Texan: “Okay – where are you from, jackass?”
How do you know if someone went to Harvard? They tell you.
What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard? Figuring out what to tell you about first.
What do Harvard and a virgin have in common? You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came.
How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch? You pay him for the pizza.
Why didn't the ghost get accepted to Harvard? He wasn't a visible minority.
What do you call a Mexican that got into Harvard? A student...
Harvard University accepted my application! I'm going to be their best janitor!
What do a Harvard student and Yale student have in common? Both got into Yale.
How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him
*I'll see myself out*
Did you hear about the emo who appealed for admission into Harvard? He didn't make the cut
An atheist vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard and doesn't own a TV walks into a bar
He sits down at the bar, orders a beer, turns to the guy next to him...
...and has no idea what to say.
How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the world around him.
How many Harvard Graduates does it take to change a lightbulb One: all they need to do is hold the lightbulb in place and wait for the world to revolve around them
The School Janitor
Janitor: I know im just a school janitor, but my eldest son is in M.I.T., his younger brother in Princeton, and my youngest in Harvard.
Student: (amazed) Wow, what are they studying?
Janitor: Oh no, they are janitors as well.
Today I finally got into Harvard! Sadly campus security caught me and handed me over to the police for trespassing
An insane Harvard research study just proved that when ants are tripping on LSD, they can't get heartburn. Apparently it works as an antacid.
How do you know if somebody graduated from Harvard? They'll tell you.
Who was the first black person accepted into Harvard University? The Janitor
How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.
How do you know someone went to Harvard?
They won't stop talking about how they went to Harvard.
How do you know someone went to Yale?
They won't stop talking about how they got rejected by Harvard.
Harvard University I guess my dream is finally coming true. Among many people who applied for Harvard University,they chose me to be the janitor.
The boss approaches the new employee...
...and tells him to sweep the office.
"I'm sorry but I went to Harvard" the employee replies
The boss responds "Oh, my bad. In this case I have to show you how to do this"
TIL in a recent Harvard study done in 2019 they have figured out that frequent diarrhea is actually hereditary. It runs in your jeans.
Why did the scarecrow go to Harvard? He was out standing in his field
I d not associate with Brown people. Only Yale, Harvard and Princeton.
Texan: "Where are you from?"
Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions."
Texan: "Okay— where are you from, jackass?"
What type of candy goes to Harvard? Smarties
Did you hear about the kidnapping at Harvard? He was asleep for hours.