Heavy Metal Jokes

Funny Heavy Metal Jokes
Score: 92

Two wind turbines were talking to each other. One of the said "hey, what kind of music do you like?" The other said. "I'm a big heavy metal fan."

Score: 75

I don't always listen to heavy metal, but when I do... ...so do the neighbors.

Score: 20

The death count nears 50 after scaffolding collapses and crushes fans at a rock music festival... Eye-witnesses say there was a lot of heavy metal.

Score: 12

So I heard wind turbines enjoy listening to rock music.. Apparently they’re big heavy metal fans.

Score: 7

Why did the anti vax mom not take her teenage son to a concert? She was afraid of the heavy metal.

Score: 6

What kind of music do mercury, arsenic and lead listen to? Heavy metal.

Score: 6

I just watched the World Heavy Metal Knitting Championship in Finland. It was pretty knots!

Score: 5

They weren't pleased that I played I heavy metal song in the church but I resolved it on Gsus

Score: 4

NPR recently started a heavy metal band. 'All Things Dismembered'

Score: 4

I introduced a miner to some heavy metal. The Miner really digs the music.

Score: 4

A new heavy metal Christian Rock band has started up. They're called Nuns 'n' Moses

Score: 4

Karen walks into a heavy metal bar... "Ow" Karen exclaimed,"that hurt"

Score: 4

Little known fact: after their supposed death, Pierre and Marie Curie went on to become successful underwater assassins using a certain heavy metal. Hundreds of people died of mer-Curie poisoning.

Score: 4

I just don't understand kids. My kid says he wants to play heavy metal. So why's he so mad at me? I bought him one of the best tubas money can buy!

Score: 3

A guy walks into a heavy metal bar. ouch.

Score: 3

TIL listening to metal music can give you heavy metal poisoning It's because of the lead singer.

Score: 3

Saw a group of Sikh men jamming out to heavy metal the other day They were definitely Down With The Sikhness

Score: 3

What you say when a heavy metal artist die? Rust in peace

Score: 3

I'm scared, recently several heavy metal fans have been knocking on my front door. Windmills aren't supposed to do that right?

Score: 3

What type of music do wind turbines like? They're big heavy metal fans.

Score: 3

I like to think of terrible pickup lines. Here's my most recent one. "Hey girl, are you a mainstream, late 90's, early 2000's heavy metal band with a lisp?

Becauthe I'm 'Down with the Thickneth."

Looks her up and down.

Score: 3

What was the yacht doing while it played heavy metal music? Dokken

Score: 2

Why did the heavy metal rocker become an actuary? He wanted to be paid to predict death and destruction.

Score: 2

A heavy metal fan walks into a heavy metal bar. He gets a concussion.

Score: 2

I started a heavy metal tribute band with guys from my Macroeconomics class We are Guns & Butter

Score: 2

Any guy who plays heavy metal at work… Is office rocker...

Score: 2

My girlfriend just told me her favorite music is heavy metal. So for her birthday I'm taking her on a trip to a construction site.

Score: 2

What is a cows favorite heavy metal band? Moo-tallica

Score: 2

Y'know who my favourite Heavy Metal band are? Lead Zeppelin.

Score: 2

How did heavy metal ruin Michigan? By contaminating the groundwater

Score: 2

Do you like listening to heavy metal? Lead is my favourite type, its also really toxic

Score: 2

What do you call an all-dog heavy metal band? Muttallica.

Score: 1

Im making a heavy metal band... Im thinking of naming it Lead-arsenic-mercury.

Score: 1

Excessive consumption of heavy metal causes cancer and is ruining society Especially lead. Lead in the water pipes is a big problem.

Score: 1

Did you hear about the heavy metal band that started a huge protest but without shouting or talking? They ended up destroying a bunch of property, though... It was a quiet riot

Score: 1

What's the difference between mercury and a zippo? One's a heavy metal, and one's a little lighter

Score: 1

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