Getting on a plane . . .
. . . I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to LA, and send one to Miami."
She told me, "We can't do that!"
I told her, "Well you did it last week!"
- Henny Youngman
A man goes to a psychiatrist...
...The psychiatrist says, "You're nuts!"
The man says, "I want a second opinion!"
Psychiatrist says, "OK, you're ugly, too!"
[ Apologies to Henny Youngman ]
After 30 years of marriage, people always ask, "What's the secret of keeping the romance alive?" I always tell them...
We go to the same romantic restaurant every week, twice a week...
I go on Tuesday. She goes on Fridays.
Credit - Henny Youngman
What does aa emo Henny Youngman say? Take my life... please.
Mormon comedians
The Jews have a rich history of Jewish stand up comedians, Mel Brooks, Woody Allen, Sarah Silverman, Don Rickles, Henny Youngman. Can you imagine if Henny Youngman was mormon?
Take my wives, please