When Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer..it's "art" and "music". But when I do it...I'm "wasted", and "have to leave Home Depot".
I think it's bullcrap how Miley Cyrus can get naked, lick a sledge hammer, and people call it "art" and "music". Yet when I do it, I'm "wasted" and " have to leave Home Depot".
When Miley Cyrus licks a sledgehammer naked, it's art. When I do it, I'm drunk and told to leave Home Depot.
I was arrested for punching an elderly African-American lady at Home Depot. My wife told me to find a Black N' Decker.
How do you kill a cat with 16 lives?
You run it over with a 4x4.
Bonus joke.
How do you kill a cat with 8 lives at home depot?
You hit it with a 2x4
My blind friend went to Home Depot... he picked up a hammer and saw!
How do you know you got everything on a trip to home depot? Easy, you're on your third trip to Home Depot.
They are opening a hardware store in Indiana where they will only employ people who have had a difficult childhood being raised in either domestic abuse or foster houses. It will be called the Broken Home Depot.
Blind Man I just passed a blind man in home depot. He was dressed head to toe in camouflage. I assume he was trying to even the playing field. Well done sir. (True Story)
What do you call it when someone comes to your house and takes all your pottery? Home Depot.
I peed in the shower once The manager of Home Depot kicked me out
Today, I took a shower You have no idea how hard it was to get it out of Home Depot.
When Miley Cyrus licks a sledgehammer, it's called "art" and "music. When I do it, I'm "drunk" and "have to leave Home Depot".
Why is it... That when Miley Cyrus licks a hammer naked it's called 'Music' and 'Art', but when I do it, it's called 'Property Damage' and 'Nudity' and I get kicked out of Home Depot?
Home depot is the best brothel The vacuum sucks, the fan blows, the hammer bangs and they have plenty of pots to plant your seed.
Customer at home depot: is this spray good for wasps?
Me: No it kills them.
And that is how I got my first complaint of the day.
What do Donald Trump, Lowes, and Home Depot have in common? >!All three are severely short-handed.!<
What did the lizard get at home depot? Reptile.
What's a Home Depot employee's favourite game The customer is lava
I bought a fan from Home Depot and it came fully assembled. I love it when a fan comes together.
I got banned from Home Depot today A man in an orange apron walked up to me and asked me if I wanted decking. Luckily I got the first punch in!
What did John Lennon say when he first arrived at the Door section of Home Depot. Imagine all the peep holes.
What does Home Depot take when it can't sleep? Bin of Drills
What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb? Turned down 4 watt
What do Ludacris and Home Depot have in common? They both have hoes in different area codes.
A blonde married man went to Home Depot to buy a new closet... "Please give me a closet that doesn't come with a naked man living in it" he asked the salesman.
I recently got thrown out of Home Depot for asking... an attendant whether he had a big sized caulk.
I want to play a real life game of Among Us at Home Depot But I'm busy doing tasks in electrical.
Two guys in home depot start talking
One said "I wish there was a stupid store that bro dad's go to to make crappy one hole mini golf courses we could watch them stumble around not knowing anything"
The other said "dude that's lowe"
Mother in-law accidentally change the language of her TV to Spanish. She doesn’t know Spanish and could not figure out how to get it back into English. A light bulb popped into my Father in-laws head. He decided to go to Home Depot and hire some help.