Ides Of March Jokes

I told my wife "Beware the Ides of March!" I told my wife "Beware the Ides of March! I'm in the mood to do some stabbing from behind, if you know what I mean. "

She said, "I just might die of surprise if you make it to 23 stabs!"

So yeah, only my ego got murdered today.

Score: 17

For the Ides of March... Caesar walks into a bar, and tells the bartender "I'll have a martinus."

The bartender says "Don't you mean a martini, sire?"

Caesar scowls, and says "If I wanted a double I would have said so!"

Score: 5
Funny Ides Of March Jokes
Score: 4

With the ides of March around the corner Remember to stab your salad 23 times

Score: 3

The assassination of Julius Caesar Caesar was famously killed on the Ides of March, but he wasn't expecting the attack until August 2. His final words embodied his dismay over the scheduling confusion:

"8/2, Brute..."

Score: 3

People are losing the spirit of the Ides of March. It's not just about stabbing; it's about coming together as a group to stab.

Score: 1

Me and my friend Brutus were going to go on vacation... ...but he backstabbed me and went with someone else.
Happy Ides of March!

Score: 1

What do you get when a samurai crosses swords with a Roman dictator? A Caesar salad.

Happy belated Ides of March, everybody!

Score: 1

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