Insulting Jokes

How to be insulting A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.

He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"

She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"

The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Score: 1896

A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp. 1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.

Score: 105

A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government. 1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.

Score: 65
Funny Insulting Jokes
Score: 61

I never understood why being called an Einstein is bad. It's only relatively insulting.

Score: 40

Did You Know Hitler Was Good At Insulting People He at one point Roasted 6 Million Jews

Score: 23

"Stalin is a fool!" A man yelled in Red Square. He was arrested by the secret police and sentenced to 25 years. He was given five years for insulting the head of state, and 20 years for revealing classified information.

Score: 21

Why are there insulting names for liberals like libtard but none for Republicans? Because calling someone a Republican is insulting enough

Score: 15

Insulting Bakers is Good Fun You can really get a rise out of them.

Score: 13

In order to stay healthy during this pandemic, I’ve been dancing in public while insulting people. I practice social diss dancing.

Score: 8

I told my comrades that the commissar is an idiot. I got 31 years gulag... 1 year for insulting a political officer,

30 years for revealing a state secret

Score: 6

Did you hear about the man who was found dead shortly after insulting one Mr. T Crews? He died of dissin' Terry.

Score: 4

Why should you always walk a mile in someone's shoes before insulting them? Because then when you insult them you'll be a mile away,

and you'll have their shoes.

Score: 4

Articles insulting sociopaths are offensive If I had feelings they would be really hurt.

Score: 3

"It's no biggie" I can't tell if they are trying to make me feel better or insulting my manhood on the first date.

Score: 3

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Sorry, but that’s the most insulting question someone ever asked me since I’ve gone blind five years ago.

Score: 3

[Different version] How to be insulting Never mind, you wouldn't get it

Score: 2

[Request] Jokes or puns about a broken arm. Friend broke his arm and I'm trying to cheer him up, can be insulting if you want.

Score: 2

My brother was calling me names and insulting me. So I said, "I would give you a nasty look...but it looks like you already have one."

Score: 2

what do you say when you're insulting two people at the same time no w

Score: 2

A banana was insulting lemon saying it has a miserable life because it gets cut, squeezed and then tossed away. Lemon was furious and said it’d die by a sword with dignity than to face a humiliation of being stripped naked.

Score: 2

Once when I was but a lad... I made the grave mistake of insulting a witch. She got so mad that she cursed me with a mounted spigot and now I have the urge to turn around.

Why you ask?

Well, have you ever tried not looking when there's a tap on your shoulder?

Score: 2

A Scottish Canadian man called me on my radio talk show. He started insulting me and repeating what I said in a weird voice It was call-in mockery

Score: 2

A blonde hears a guy telling blond jokes... She says "i'm blond, and that's very insulting." Guy says, "alright, I'll repeat it slowly."

Score: 1

A life-long politician and an orange are on stage in front of millions of Americans. What do they do? They start insulting each other.

Score: 1

The other day a midget started insulting me for no reason... I chose to be the bigger man and acted like it never happened.

Score: 1

I was outside in my garden when a guy walked to me and started insulting me, so I roasted him in front of everyone. He tasted really good with fries.

Score: 1

Why did the insulting person get banned on the Christian server? He was caught heck-ling someone.

Score: 1

Heading off on a walk once, I said “Tally Ho!” And then had to explain to my friend from Tallahassee that I wasn’t insulting her.

Score: 1

What do you call a sandstorm thats always insulting you? Da rude sandstorm.

Score: 1

Fricking neuroscience up is the most insulting Your brain cannot even understand its own structures

Score: 0

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