IRS
Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
'I can!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'
Donation
Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
'I can!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'
Why is the IRS always tired? Collecting money for the government is taxing
You may not like EVERY government agency... ...but you've really gotta hand it to the IRS.
A Lawyer and an IRS Agent If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you: (1) go to lunch or (2) read the paper?
Why did the IRS officer arrest the prostitute at the dinner party? Because she was working under the table
A comedian is called to the IRS... ...they tell him he owes more taxes. He says, "Why?" They say, "Because we appreciated your humor."
Donald Trump was just issued a notice by the IRS Ordering him toupee up.
What does your money become when you combine "the" and "IRS"? Theirs.
I don't like working at the IRS It's incredibly taxing
A man calls the IRS office
"Hi, my last name is Sweady, but on the cheque you sent me for my tax return, you've written it as cyirwu."
"I'm sorry about that, could you spell it out for me?"
"Sure, S as in sea, W as in why, E as in eye, A as in are, D as in double-u, and Y as in you."
The Atheist Church of America just filed a new tax status with the IRS.
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They are a non-prophet organization.
What's the difference between an IRS audit and prison rape? In prison, you have a chance at getting a reach around
Always pay your taxes with a smile I tried, but the IRS still wanted cash.
I wonder who's watching me now, the IRS?
1984 paranoid ramblings
2018 passing remark
Every religion has violent people... ... The Christians have The Westboro Baptist Church, the Muslims have the jihadists, and the Jews have the IRS
Why do underground hackers report their income to the IRS? They know how the system will react to sin tax errors
Sherlock Holmes got audited by the IRS. He had too many deductions.
X Gon’ Give it to Ya Unless you’re the IRS
A quick one for tomorrow's tax day
**IRS Agent:** You can't deduct and umbrella!
**Taxpayer:** Why not? It's overhead, isn't it?
What did Britney Spears say when she got a letter from the IRS? "Oops, audited again"
What did the veteran IRS agent say to the rookie? Fined everything ok today?
Why are IRS agents excellent at Hide-and-Seek? They can fined anyone.
a package thief, an IRS scammer, and your ex all jump off from the Empire State Building, who lands first on the ground? Who cares.
The IRS call a rabbi.
The IRS call a rabbi:
"Excuse me, did Samuel Kohn really donate $10000 for the reconstruction of your synagogue?"
"He will..."
Knock knock. Who’s there? Iowa. Iowa who? Iowalotta money to the IRS.
I think they are shutting down the IRS... I just got a letter stating that it was my "last notice"!
What is a welfare queen? You live in government housing, five kids by three baby mamas, and the IRS after you
FBI, CIA, DEA which is best at finding people? the IRS
A man wrote the IRS saying . . . . . . "I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I have understated my income and have enclosed a check for $1500. If I still can't sleep I will send the rest".
At the IRS audit
IRS: According to your tax return you claim got money for nothin' & checks for free.
Taxpayer: Am I in trouble for that?
IRS: We'd say you're in dire straits.
What do you call a religious IRS agent? A Scientologist.
Did you know that the IRS is now offering a tax credit for those who purchase marijuana? Yeah, all you need to do is file a joint return.
What raises your chances of an IRS audit? Clicking on this joke.
What's scarier than having the IRS after you? Nothing.