I don’t care if Caitlin Jenner identifies as a woman, but April identifying as January is crossing the line.
You shouldn't kiss someone on January 1st It's the first date
How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
Do you know who Russia's 3 greatest generals are? December, January, and February.
New Years resolution Programmers are always grumpy on January 1st - they turn on their monitor and the screen has the same number of pixels even though they keep hearing about the New Year’s Resolution
Two Unix experts are talking about their age...
- What is your date of birth?
- 0
- Ohh, nice I was born in January too.
Joke from WWII: The USSR's three greatest generals. What're the names of the USSR's three greatest generals? December, January, and February!
My grandfather was arrested numerous times for selling a phony life lengthening drug... Once in 1888, again in 1922, a third time in 1954, and another time in January 2018
Finally got round to booking my laser eye surgery for the 1st January Can't wait to have 2020 vision.
I just told my wife I am going dry for January I really can't be bothered with foreplay.
I celebrated 4/20 on January 5th. I know how to reduce fractions.
Remember the undies with the days of the week on them, Monday, Tuesday....? In Romania we had something similar, our girls on their undies had January, February....
Originally, International Women's Day was celebrated on the 8 of January. However, because they had to get ready, it has since been postponed to 8 March.
A historian, a journalist, and a political scientist walk into a bar on January 23, 1993... [Citation Needed]
The date is 20 January 2017. The date is 20 January 2017. Donald Trump has just been sworn in as President. He walks to the mic for his inauguration speech. He looks at Obama and says "You're Fired"
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st? Because it's only the first date.
Obama's announcement Today, President Obama announced that, after January 20th, the official title of "U.S. Government" will be changed to include quotation marks around Government.
Why did the mathematician celebrate 4/20 on January 5? Because he knows how to reduce fractions.
Q: When does January end?
A: February 1st
Q: When does March end?
A: April 1st
Q: When does May end?
A: June 7th
Vladimir Putin has announced that he will be resigning as the President of Russia in January He Putin his two month notice
Dry January is going really well. Even if everyone keeps saying that I need to shower.
I'm tired of 1080p. Come January, I'm getting a 4K TV It will be a new year's resolution.
My wife's panties are labelled 'Monday', 'Tuesday', 'Wednesday' ... My underwear is labelled 'January', February', 'March'...
January 4th is the commemoration of Schrodinger's death... But since he's is in a box, we are not sure.
January 20, 2017 The day America expires.
Can January March? No, but April May
You shouldn't kiss on January 1st. Coz it's only the first date
Pokemon go in January is the worst Everyone is joining all the gyms
When will mark zuckerberg die? January 19 2038 of course
I am starting No Joke January. No joke, this sub will be full of No Joke January jokes.
You know what the greatest thing about January 20th 2017 12:01 AM? That is when its going to be the darkest before the Donald
The March for Life is all fine and well..... But why are we forgetting the January and February for Life?
I’m going to pay off all of the student loans of college graduates graduating next year... ...in hopes they don’t learn the responsibilities of financial management. Also, apply for my new 48% APR credit card I am offering at the start of January!
January is national stalking awareness month... That crept up on my fast
What did the psychologist say to his client after diagnosing him with a phobia on January 1? Happy new fear.
On January 1st I have a eye doctor appointment. I’ll finally have 2020 vision
It's January 1st and I'm already tired of these 2020 vision puns... I can really see this being a bad year for jokes.