Public speaking is the #1 fear of the average person. #2 is death.
This means that at a funeral, more people would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
-Jerry Seinfeld
When Jerry Seinfeld dies...
I really hope his tombstone says:
*Jerry Seinfeld
1954 yadda yadda yadda 20XX*
What type of roller coaster goes through the Bronx?
The type where people scream in the flat parts.
-Jerry Seinfeld
I went to a Jerry Seinfeld stand-up last night. It was actually really disappointing; he didn't use any of his old jokes I used to love... Like, what's up with that?
Starting in 2020, whenever a famous comedian dies Jerry Seinfeld is going to go to their funeral and pretend to interview them on the way to the cemetery for his new TV show... *Comedians* *in Coffins Being Carried*
Two cannibals were eating Jerry Seinfeld... One looks at the other and asks “Does this taste salty?”
I was in a writing room with Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld But nothing happened
The set-up is that this is a Jewish joke:
Two gentiles meet on the street.
One says, "How's business?"
The other says, "Great!"
[Told by Jerry Seinfeld on "Norm MacDonald Live"]
How does Jerry Seinfeld play ice hockey? With his Shtick.
Did you hear Jerry Seinfeld is hosting a new poker show Its gonna be called "What's the Deal?"
Curse of Oak Island The show "Curse of Oak Island" takes Jerry Seinfeld's concept of a show about nothing to a hole new level.