My friend, Karen, and I visited a place you can stand in three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri. Karen opened up that she was actually in a fourth state: crippling depression. I said, "I'm so sorry" "...but you can't count Missouri twice."
Son: Dad, what's the opposite of Karen?
Dad: Umm, I don't know, Sharon...?
Son: But I thought Sharon was Karen.
Edit: Thank you u/Ri0tp0p0 and u/CulturedCroissant for the awards!
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard? Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Why were Karen and her two year old son crying? They were both having a midlife crisis.
Why did Karen push CTRL + ALT + DELETE? She wanted the Task Manager.
I hate when people talk about their kids age in weeks and months.
"Jessica said her first word at 36 weeks!"
You mean 9 months.
"Ken is 24 months!"
Deborah, he's 2.
"My baby is -26 weeks old!"
No, Karen, you miscarried.
Why did Karen press Alt-Ctrl-Del ? Because she wanted to see the Task Manager
Why did Karen press Ctrl + Alt + Delete? because she wanted to see the task manager
Why did the white lady want to talk the manager into giving her a free item? Because Sharon is Karen.
The wife told me she couldn't take my pretending to be a private eye shtick any more. She want's to split up. Good idea Karen, we'll cover more ground.
Me: I have trained this goat to talk.
Karen: This would be fun to see.
Me[to goat]: Who do i love the most?
Goat: Mee
Me[to goat]: Who's my pet?
Goat: Mee
Karen: Ah, its boring
Me: Wait it gets better
Goat: It gets way better, Karen!
A group of girls named Karen, Jane and Ruth often hang out. What are Karen and Jane like by themselves? Completely Ruthless
Dave : How’s the diet going?
Dave : How's the diet going?
Karen : Well, today's my cheat day
Dave : What does that mean?
Guy in bed : Don't worry about it
Policeman: "I'm very sorry, sir,..."
Policeman: I'm very sorry, sir, but it looks like your wife got hit by a bus.
Man: I’m aware of that, but Karen has a wonderful personality.
When Thanos snaps...
Avengers: Oh no, he did it he managed to get rid of half the universe we did not stop him there is no hope. We are in Endgame now.
Karen: ThE VaCCinEs TurNEd My KIdS tO DuSt !!!!!
"I think Karen has dyslexia."
"Why do you say that?"
"We put a nativity scene in town square, and she demanded to see the manger."
What is the cat equivalent of a Karen? Carol Baskin
I really don't understand how Karen’s aren’t in better shape... They’re always stretching the truth and jumping to conclusions
Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend? Because Sharon is Karen.
Policeman: I'm very sorry, sir, but it looks like your wife got hit by a bus. Man: I’m aware of that, but Karen has a wonderful personality.
When I was a kid, we had a dog named Karen.
One day she disappeared and i never saw her again. My parents told me she ran away.
When I grew up, I realized that was bullshit, 'cause she would have taken me with her.
My GF karen is cheating on me, she said she was with her friend Mary. I knew she was lying, because Mary was lying next to me.
The US reports that 42% of all new Covid-19 cases will come from abroad. They think her name is "Karen."
What happens when a Karen and a Boomer crash into each other? KaBoom!
Karen: You'll never guess what I got you for your birthday.
Dave: A 3-way with your sister?
Karen: \*storms out
Dave: omg did I ruin the surprise?
*Karen* : Wanna hear a joke
*Dave* : Yeah sure, why not ?!
*Karen* : The kid.
*Dave* : I don't get it.
*Karen* : Exactly.
Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day... ...give Karen a fish, and she’ll complain she ordered chicken instead, and demand to talk to the manager.
I hear there's a tropical storm Karen heading for the US... They have worn all department stores and fast-food joints in the coastal area to to batten down their managers.
The first Karen to get sick was ... Impatient zero.
How do you call a Karen with kids? A Paren.
Why is it tough for a Karen to become a Ventriloquist? They don't wear masks!
What’s the opposite of a smart alec? A dumb Karen.
What is it called when your grandma becomes an irritating facebook woman? Sharon is Karen
What did Karen do today on the occasion of International Women's Day? Complained about the loss of an hour stating daylight savings are as unnecessary as the vaccine.
Why did the manager kill himself? Because he stopped Karen about life.
Why did Karen angrily pressed crtl+alt+delete on her keyboard? She demanded to see the task manager right away.