After kissing a girl on her sofa she said “let’s take this upstairs” “Ok” I said “ You grab one end and I’ll grab the other”
A Michael Sam joke After being drafted by the St. Louis Rams, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic because it’s the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams. - Conan O'brien
Boy: [kissing girl on couch] you wanna take this upstairs?
Girl: He-he, sure baby.
Boy: Awesome! Grab the other end, and try not to scuff the banister.
The only problem with kissing a perfect 10... ...is how cold the mirror feels against your lips.
I brought my dead girlfriend back to life by passionately kissing her neck ...I guess you could say I'm a neck-romancer
Boy: *Kissing girl on couch* You wanna take this upstairs?
Girl: Hehe sure baby
Boy: Sweet! Grab the other end, I can't carry it by myself
I walked in last night to find a paramedic crouching over my wife. “Get your lips off my wife,”
I snapped pulling him off her. “But sir, I’m not kissing her!” He pleaded. “She’s stopped breathing.”
“Do I need to repeat myself?
The problem with kissing a perfect 10 is that Sometimes it’s cold when your lips touch the mirror
Study reveals 20% of men kiss wife goodbye when they leave the house. 80% of men kiss house goodbye when they leave their wife. Conclusion. Want to keep your house, start kissing your wife.
A husband and wife see two people kissing.
The wife says, “He kisses her every time she comes home from work. Why can’t you do that?”
The husband says, “I would love to, but I don’t know her well enough.”
My son got sent home for kissing a girl in his class... I told him it has to stop before he runs out of schools he can teach at.
Have you heard the disease you get from kissing birds?
It's called Chirpes.
It's a canerial disease.
It's untweetable.
Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds? Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. I hear it's untweetable.
I saw two lesbians kissing in the park.
"There's a time and a place for that," I told my wife.
She said, "Yeah..."
I said, "It's 9pm and my house."
The only problem with kissing a perfect 10... knowing that she has 8 more years until you can tell anyone about it.
When I was in kindergarten... I met a really beautiful girl. We really liked each other. We were constantly kissing and holding hands, even showed our private parts, until one day the teacher came and caught us, needless to say, I got fired.
A wife complains.....
A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”
The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know that woman!
The worst part about kissing a perfect ten... ... is the cold feeling your lips get from touching the mirror.
Did you hear about the priest who got caught kissing a nun? He was let off with a warning not to get into the habit.
There's no easy well to tell your girlfriend that she has bad breath.
I think I'm just going to stop kissing your girlfriend.
edit: meant to say "way" instead of "well"
My wife got really mad when she found me kissing her twin during a drunken dance at a wedding. He is not too thrilled about it either.
A wife complains to her husband
“Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”
“Are you mad? I barely know the woman!”
Kissing is like peeing your pants Everyone can see it but only you can feel the heat
I hate seeing babies are kissing eachother. It's like, get a womb.
What's the worst part about making out with a perfect 10? The cold feeling on your lips when you realize you're kissing the mirror
A wife complains to her husband:
“Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”
The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know that woman!”
My dads favorite
When you're kissing with your honey
and your nose is kinda runny
you may think its kinda funny
but it's not
If you're kissing on your honey and your nose is sort of runny, you make think it's funny, but it snot.
I got arrested for staring at two women kissing on the train. That's the last time I'll be taking my laptop.
The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary and he shouted at him...
Boss - "Is this what I pay you for?"
The manager - "No, sir, this I do free of charge."
I was kissing this girl in a bar.
She said, "Do you want to split a taxi?"
I said, "I don't know how strong you think I am."
Saw Bono kissing himself in the mirror. I looked at him in disgust and said.... "Get a room U2!"
John to Sam: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Sam rushed home angrily.
After half an hour, Sam came back and slapped the John.
Sam said: You fool, he is not my friend.
Did you hear about the dyslexic politician? Yeah, apparently he caused a bit of an uproar at his latest rally because he was kissing peoples' hands and shaking their babies.
There's only one problem when kissing a perfect ten. The mirror always feels so cold on your lips :(
Wife Complains !!!
A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”
The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know that woman!”
How i managed to succesfully reject all the woman chasing me and loving me, kissing and wanting to have *** with me I told them i was a virgin, and was bad in bed. Those words saved me from a world of chaos