Kiwi Jokes

Funny Kiwi Jokes
Score: 43

What did the Kiwi say to the Rabbi? "Hebrew".

Score: 11

What's the difference between a kiwi and an arsehole? An arsehole doesn't go to a party and make a kiwi of himself

Score: 8

What did the Kiwi say to the Jew? Hee broo

Score: 3

What did the Rabbi from New Zealand say? Hey Bro

(Read in your best Kiwi accent)

Score: 3

Does anyone know how to easily peel a kiwi? All those feathers keep getting in the way

Score: 3

How does a Kiwi find a sheep in the long grass? Absolutely irresistible

Score: 3

What would a Kiwi name a peanut butter sandwich? Jiffrey

Score: 2

What do Kiwi nuclear engineers eat? Fusion chups.

Score: 1

Today I lost my cool, when this obnoxious, mediterranean exchange student barged into our art class. I was trying to paint the kiwi fruits we had on display for a still life. Really messed up my painting. Nobody expects the spanish in kiwi-session.

Score: 1

I’m excite! I just started the Kiwi diet! I eat everything but kiwi.

Score: 1

A software programmer's wife asks him to buy some groceries. "Check if they have watermelons, if yes buy 2. Otherwise get 3 boxes of kiwi fruit" She said.


The husband later returned with 2 boxes of kiwi fruit.

Score: 0

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