Las Vegas Jokes

Do you know what Sin City is? Person 1: Do you know what Sin City is?


Person 2: Las Vegas


Person 1: Do you know what the Windy City is?


Person 2: Chicago


Person 1: Do you know what Den City is?


Person 2: ...


Person 1: Mass over volume

Score: 177

A physicist was in Las Vegas Tour guide: Las Vegas is also known as Sin City.

Physicist: Do you know what Den City is though?

Tour guide: No, I don't know.

Physicist: Mass over volume.

I'll see myself out.

Score: 79
Funny Las Vegas Jokes
Score: 58

I bought a second hand deck of cards from a casino in Las Vegas, but after 4 weeks they hadn't arrived. When I asked for an update, they said they were still dealing with my order.

Score: 20

"Do you know what sin city is?" "Yeah, that's Las Vegas"

"But do you know what Den City is"

"No"

"Mass over volume"

Score: 17

How do you win a small fortune in Las Vegas? By spending a large fortune.

Score: 11

Pacquiao wanted the fight to take place in the Philippines, but Mayweather insisted on Las Vegas. I guess he likes his venues just like he likes his violence...Domestic.

Score: 10

What's the similarities between Las Vegas and Manchester? You can pay for the prostitutes using chips

Score: 10

I wish the corona started in Las Vegas because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Score: 8

Everyone knows that Las Vegas is Sin City. But do you know what is Den City? p = m/V


mass/volume

Score: 7

After years of gambling, an unlucky gambler finally figures out the way to leave Las Vegas with a small fortune. He goes to Las Vegas with a large fortune.

Score: 7

Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California? Because they, like, can't even deal.

Score: 6

A teacher says to a boy: "Answer one question i'm gonna give you and you can go home." Boy :"Ok."
Teacher:"What state is Las Vegas located in?"
Boy:"That state"
Teacher:"What state exactly?"
Boy:"Woah, that's already the second question."

Score: 5

Why did the Dalai Lama go to Las Vegas? Tibet

Score: 3

Las Vegas The city of Las Vegas now has a gigantic ferris wheel that is drawing huge crowds.

Also drawing thousands to Las Vegas...whores!

Credit: The great Norm Macdonald

Score: 3

A Las Vegas joke Criss Angel

Score: 2

The Raiders are moving to Las Vegas Most Oakland fans won't even be able to go to games now due to parole stipulations...

Score: 2

I'm flying out to Las Vegas next month and I am really worried after what happened last year. I don't want anything happening to me. I'm scared about being stuffed into an overhead bin on a United Airline.

Score: 2

Two melons tried to get married in Las Vegas but were denied... ...because they cantaloupe.

Score: 2

It's happening in Las Vegas and it's happening after the queen of England has taken a dump. It's a Royal straight flush.

Score: 2

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the Las Vegas magic show last week He's fine now, the applause at the end woke him up.

Score: 2

After a long illness, my father passed away yesterday in Las Vegas. He’s in a bettor place.

Score: 2

Me : Heard of Sin City? GF : Las Vegas, right?

Me : Yeap, hw about Den City?

GF : What?

Me : Mass / Volume

Score: 2

Why are slot machines bad luck? Because you can't gamble with your life in Las Vegas.

Score: 2

BEAT THE CASINO Q: What is the only way to keep your money from the casinos in Las Vegas?

A: When you get off the plane, walk into the propellers.

Score: 2

A suicide bomber goes to Las Vegas to try his luck at the slot machines.... ....he hit the jackpot, and now he's all over the place.

Score: 1

If there's ever a zombie outbreak, it should happen in Las Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Score: 1

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas? They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Score: 1

You hear the one about the kid in Las Vegas? He asks his dad, "Pop, why can't I go out in the street and play football and baseball like the other kids?" And his father says, "Keep dealing."

Score: 1

The Oakland Raiders are moving to Las Vegas I think that is quite a gamble.

Score: 1

Did you hear about the two tornados in Las Vegas? They decided to elope after a whirlwind romance!

Score: 1

A pirate captain and his mates take a trip to Las Vegas As they approach the city, the Captain yells "Thaarr she blows!"

A woman yells from the distance "No, my shift doesn't start for another hour!"

Score: 1

How do you know your in Las Vegas When the strip club has a splash zone

Score: 1

Why do teachers from Las Vegas focus so much on Trigonometry? Because it's sin city.

Score: 1

What did the lovebirds eat in quarantine when their plans for Las Vegas were canceled? Cantaloupe.

Score: 1

What's the difference between a 3-ring circus and a Las Vegas chorus line? One is an array of cunning stunts...

Score: 1

[Original] I asked my dyslexic Hispanic friend the fasted way to Las Vegas. He pointed down the road. "Gracias", I said. "Ne vada".

Score: 0

The Coronavirus has made Las Vegas the perfect travel destination. So long as you're betting the spread.

Score: 0

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