Liar Jokes

I received a call from the school telling me my son is constantly lying. I said "Tell him he's a good liar. I don't have a son."

Score: 4271

I have 3 eyes, 6 heads and 15 limbs, what am I? A liar.

Score: 823

Police just knocked on my door and said my dog is chasing a kid on his bike. What a liar, my dog doesn't even have a bike.

Score: 584

A paedophile, a rapist, a cheat, and a liar walk in to a bar... Bartender says: What can I get for you Mr. President?

Score: 422

A bigot, a liar, and a rapist walk into a bar The bartender asks, "what'll it be, Mr. President?"

Score: 298

What does a liar do after he's dead? He lies still...

Score: 169

I have 3 eyes, 5 legs and 6 arms, what am I ? A liar

Score: 131

A racist, a liar and a misogynist walks into a bar The bartender greeted “Good evening, Mr. President!”

Score: 98

A politician, a liar and a crooked man enter in a bar. He sits down and drinks coffee.

Score: 86

I have 2 heads, 5 arms, 372 legs, and 6684324 eyes. What am I? A liar

Score: 72

A rapist, a bigot, and a pathological liar walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have, Mr. President?"

Score: 62

I have 600 legs, 30 arms, a pair of wings, and 1000 eyes. What am I? A liar.

Score: 56

A liar, a murderer, and a cheater walk into a bar. The New England Patriots must be in town.

Score: 51

I have 7 legs, 5 eyes, and 9 arms. What am I? A liar

Score: 46

I'd call myself a politician, but then I would just be a liar... So, basically, I would be a politician.

Score: 45

A liar, a cheat, and a bigot walked into a bar... "Let's make America great again!" he said.

Score: 27

A liar, A cheat, and a sore loser walk into a bar. The bartender says:

What'll it be Mrs.Clinton?

Score: 26

At the sister’s “Oh no, Roger, why did you two split up?”

“She’s a liar and a cheat! She said she was the whole night at her sister’s!”

“So? Maybe she was.”

“Yeah, no way. I was at her sister’s the whole night!”

Score: 22

Condoms are available in three sizes: Small, medium, and liar.

Score: 19

A liar, a murderer, and a thief walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "what will it be, Mrs. Clinton?"

Score: 17

What do you call a sober Irishman? A liar.

Score: 16

Q) I have ten arms, eight legs and 22 feet. what am I? A) A liar.

Score: 16

Roses are red, you're a liar Harry, did you put your name in the goblet of fire?

Score: 15

About a year ago I changet my name to Fun... Apparently Cyndi Lauper is a liar.

Score: 13

What do you call a Mathematician who is an outlaw and a liar? an outlier

downvote brigade can start now

Score: 12

I got a call from the pound They wanted to tell me that they had picked up my dog because it was chasing a kid on a bike.

I said " That kid is a liar because not only does my dog not own a bike; he doesn't even know how to ride one yet!

Score: 12

I have 3 heads, 4 legs, 6 hands and 416 fingers, what am I? A liar.

Score: 11

I have 3 legs, 5 arms, 7 eyes and 19 belly buttons. What am I? A liar.

Score: 11

Donald Trump claimed his trips to Mar-a Lago didn’t cost the taxpayers anything. He paid for them with Frequent Liar miles.

(Thanks, father in law)

Score: 11

A liar, a murderer, a cheater walk in to a bar... The Patriots must be in town.

Score: 10

At least George Micheal wasn't a liar. Last Christmas he gave us his heart.

Score: 8

A blonde, a drunk, a liar, and a loser walk into a bar to order a couple drinks... The bartender says: "There's my favorite customer! What will it be this time Ms. Clinton?"

Edit: Hahaha everyone's so butthurt. It's just a joke...

Score: 5

What do you call a person who has never masterbated ? A liar

Score: 4

What do people say when Elon Musk says ,"I'm going to the gym."? Musk-u-liar

Score: 3

My wife left me, saying I was a compulsive liar Atleast I think that's what she said... I was busy wrestling a tiger at the time.

Score: 2

My friend told me he is a pathological liar. I don't believe him.

Score: 2

What kind of egg do you give to a habitual liar? A fiberge egg.

Score: 1

My teacher said there are no jokes about Lithium and Argon. I called him a LiAr.

Score: 1

What is the difference between Trump and Comey? One is a liar and the other is 6'8"

Score: 1

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