Lip Jokes

Funny Lip Jokes
Score: 159

My wife asked me to pass her lip balm, instead, I gave her super glue by mistake. She's still not talking to me...

Score: 159

My wife thinks it's seductive to bite her lip. I haven't the heart to tell her it's supposed to be the bottom one.

Score: 154

Asked my wife if I could run my finger through her hair She nodded and said she would like that.

I started brushing across her top lip,

And that's when the fight started....

Score: 113

What do you call a deaf gynaecologist? A lip reader

Score: 95

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december? The specific ocean.

Score: 94

Lip Balm To My Wife Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She’s still not talking to me.

Score: 59

Why did the hipster burn his lip when sipping coffee? He drank it before it was cool.

Score: 46

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I gave her some superglue instead. She’s still not talking to me!

Score: 40

Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She’s still not talking to me.

Score: 39

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm I accidentally gave her superglue and now she’s not talking to me

Score: 39

My wife heard it's seductive to bite her lip. I don't have the heart to tell her it's meant to be the bottom one.

Score: 35

My girlfriend thinks it's seductive to bite her lip.. I haven't the heart to tell her it's supposed to be the bottom one.

Score: 34

A cyclops was doing a crossword puzzle and asked his wife, "Hun, how do you spell Hawaii?" Biting her lip, she replied, "I think you need 2 'i's."

Score: 24

Why did the hipster burn his lip on his coffee? He drank it before it was cool.

Score: 17

A penguin talks his snowmobile in to get fixed. The mechanic takes a look at it and says "looks like you blew a seal." penguin replies "no, that's just frosting on my lip."

Score: 16

What do you call it when an Irish band is caught lip syncing? Sham rock.

Score: 15

How did the hipster burn his lip? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

Score: 15

I accidentally gave my girlfriend super glue instead of lip gloss She is still not talking to me

Score: 12

A duck walks into a drug store, He goes and puts lip stick on the check out counter.

The cashier asks, "will this be cash or check?"

The duck says, "neither; just put it on my bill."

Score: 11

What do you call a deaf Gynocologist? A lip reader.

Score: 11

My wife asked me to pass her lip balm and I passed her super glue by mistake She's still not talking to me.

Score: 11

My sister asked me for her lip balm. I accidentally gave her superglue She's still not talking to me.

Score: 11

What do Trump and lip stick have in common? Both make Hillary Clinton more attractive.

Score: 9

My wife asked me to pass her lip balm but I accidentally handed her superglue instead. She's still not talking to me.

Score: 9

What do you call a French man wearing sandals? Phil-lip Phil-lop.

Score: 7

How did the hipster burn his lip? They drank the coffee before it was cool.

Score: 7

What do you call someone who only chaps their bottom lip? A uni-balmer.

Score: 7

My wife asked me for Lip balm and I gave her superglue, She hasn’t talked to me since

Score: 7

"I've been a naughty, naughty girl" she said to me, biting her lower lip, "and I need to be punished" So I installed Windows 10 on her laptop.

Score: 6

Just found out my OBGYN is deaf Guess that makes him a lip reader

Score: 4

My dad just got a job lip reading He found out about it by word of mouth

Score: 2

My wife likes to bite her lip trying to look seductive. After 20 years of marriage I finally told her... It's meant to be the bottom one.

Score: 2

What happens when you give a Dutchman a pack of gum? Two-lip bubble

Score: 2

Helen Keller was blind and deaf. She would still lip sync better than Mariah Carey.

Score: 2

What do deaf-mute people like about yoga pants? They make lip-reading easier.

Score: 2

Was on Twitter earlier telling everyone about how I had this tiny spot on my top lip that turned into a massive cold sore… It's gone viral…

Score: 2

What is the bestselling bodycare product amongst terrorists? Lip bomb

Score: 1

Popular Topics